MarySewage
by StormDragon666
Summary: A collection of horrendous Naruto Mary-sues for you to bash and flame to your heart's content! From the eighttailed jinchuuriki who ISN'T Killer Bee, to the dragon princess and the popstar who wears snow leopard fur boots. Come one, come all, and FLAME.
1. Intro

Hey, reader. How'd you like the chance to deservedly flame a Mary-Sue? You've come to the right place. Welcome.

INTRO!

Once upon a time, a few years ago actually, I was at the orthodontist. One procedure they needed to do for me was to make a mold of my teeth using some really nasty paste gunk that they stick in your mouth. In order to keep from gagging I let my thoughts wander to other things like…Naruto Mary-sues.

I LOVE reading mary-sue fanfictions, you guys, because I get such a good laugh out of them. I love reading the flames because the author plain and simply deserves them. There's also something to be said for _good _OC stories, but sadly it's the bad ones that usually attract me. If there's a good OC story that gets my attention then the OC it centers on is probably really realistic or funny or easy to sympathize with. But this fanfiction isn't about the good OCs.

I am going to write a mary-sue story/parody story, featuring a new mary-sue character, new author, and a new NarutocharacterXOC pairing every chapter, because it will be such a piece of moose crap that it will bring joy and lolz to good and reasonable fanfic-ers everywhere.

And, just in case I haven't impressed it upon you enough:

_**I **_

_**Encourage**_

_**You **_

_**All**_

_**To **_

_**Flame**_

_**This **_

_**Story.**_

Because it will be so hilarious. Think about it. Grammar-and-spelling inclined/original and reliable fanfiction author writing a piece of junk you would expect from a 13-or-14-year-old noob author. Oh the irony D:

I will keep the chapters here fairly short. Isn't that how most mary-sue authors are? (Well I guess I could put my all into it and once in a while write a oneshot several thousand words long, bringing you roughly _three times _the Marysewage. But usually, these kinds of authors write short, absolutely laughable chapters and then ask you to review, using more exclamation marks than needed or wanted and typing with so many grammar and spelling mistakes you'd think they were on drugs. All kinds of drugs. Or maybe their writing is actually fair, but it's just jam-packed with descriptions on why their OC is so cool.

Also be aware that I will create a little persona at the end of each chapter.

Like instead of me, Storm, giving my standard ANs, there will be some random author I imagine like UchihaWifeXDDD saying "wasnt that KAWAII! OMG, I love Sasuke lolz review pretty pwease!"

Yeah.

So, read these pathetic little Mary-sue one-shots. Flame them. Tell the "author" how much they need work and how they should find a new site to dump their toxic-waste tales. Or maybe you can tell me how hard you laughed. Or both. We'll all get a kick from it. For once you need not be held back by society's standard politeness and you can let all your enraged, true feelings show.

The first chapter will be by an author I made up named "FallenRaindancer" and about her mary-sue named Nanami Harukiya, who is the Jinchuuriki of the eight-tailed bijuu. Nanami will, naturally, be paired with Sasuke. Watch my writing skills OWN at the art of FAIL.

See you really soon, because these chapters will be pathetically short and easy and stupid.

Ta…Storm, for the only time in this story, since a new "author" will be telling you goodbye in each chapter

**(Note: you may recognize this story from a long time back, and that's because it is actually a year or two old and is now being re-posted. I took it down once because I thought it might insult my friends and their Naruto OCs once I finally became brave enough to show them all my fanfictions. Well I showed them, provided a link for them and told them the things I write, and they continued on like nothing had happened. Since they clearly don't care of this hobby that I've wanted to show them for literally years, I no longer care about not offending them. Let's get to the flaming.) **

**(Note 2: Remember that the story was posted over a year and a half ago. The first chapter was posted in March or 2009, I think. This means that Killer Bee did not exist at the time I imagined Nanami the eight-tailed bijuu, so no, she is not just ignoring Bee's existence. This is one—JUST ONE—item that you can forgive her for, but if you still wanna flame about it, I won't mind ;D) **

Ta...Storm**  
><strong>


	2. Nanami Harukiya

_(AN: Storm Says: Here is the first chapter, a one-shot written by an, ahem, author, named FallenRaindancer, who is a Sasuke fangirl, and naturally a Sakura basher. She has pretty decent spelling and grammar but doesn't know when to start and end her paragraphs, thus making them stupidly long or short. Insert fangirl in…the NEXT SENTENCE.)_

…

…

Here's my first fanfic featuring my OC Nanami Harukiya! the pairing is NamiSasu. I'm rating it T cause of the violence and blood and sexual hints. (Hint of a lemon at the end, ooh, sexypurr) Please forgive my sucky writing, my computer doesn't have any kind of spellcheck and I don't like going back to check for that stuff since it's sooo tedious DX Dang I'm hyper. It's cause of Starbucks I LOOOVE Starbucks especially anything thats vanilla. I turn like monkey crazy after having starbucks.

Oh and Im changing the canon story a little bit, so Sasuke never left to be with Oro-pedo-chan and everyone is fourteen years old here so that should fill in any the plot holes. Story time okay!

* * *

><p>It was a normal happy day in Konoha and Naruto was training with Kakashi sensei and Sakura (BITCH) and Sasuke (Is it hot in here or what?)<p>

Their assignment was to hunt down a ninja dog that Kakashi summoned and bring it back to him. the dog was very fast so it was taking hours to capture. Sasuke kept trying to do it by himself and Sakura was just brushing her hair and crying for sasuke and Naruto was consistently falling for his senseis traps.

It was almost sundown now and they'd been trying to capture the ninja hound since morning. Everyone was tired and Kakashi was getting extremely bored of watching his kids do this since he's already read his Icha Icha Violence thrice.

The sun was setting. Naruto and Sasuke were on the left and the right of the ninja hound and it was surrounded, looking very exhausted. They just might catch it this time. Naurto had his net ready and Sasuke moved behind the large dog, prepared to catch it if it turned around and tried to run away.

Naruto threw the net and the dog howled in misery, it knew the whole hunting game was over and it was about to be caught in the blonde fox boy's net.

The body of a sand ninja blasted out of the trees and hit Naruto's net before it could go over the dog. The dog saw its chance and jumped over the netted body and ran away. Naruto ran around cursing, "Stupid damn dog, ttebayo!" and Sasuke actually took notice of the fact that a dead man just sort of flew out of the trees and listened for any enemy shinobi who might come out and attack the genin.

Sakura screamed from someplace nearby and came running and clinging to Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun I just saw a monster!" she cried, tears spilling out of her eyes in a waterfall. Sasuke ignored the pinkhaired girl on his arm and brought out a kunai as he heard the rustling sound in the forest becauuse a person was coming closer and closer. Coming fast.

A tall, lean girl their age burst out of the trees and landed silently on her feet. She stood up and brushed the dust off her cloak and the team gasped at the beautiful girl. Her hair was even longer than Sakura's, dark brown with a few blonde steaks in it, and a silver moonlight flower was pinned in near her left ear. She was very pale which made the crescent moon tattoo on her shoulder stand out. Her clothes were foreign-looking. She wore a sleeveless black vest long-sleeved netted shirt and blue shorts with a silver dragon shaped belt that showed off the creamy skin on her legs. Her suna headband was on her left-shoulder. The girl's eyes were very strange. One was bloodred and one was icy blue, and both were piercingly bright and stunning and deadly. Team 7 could all feel her powerful chakra, so powerful that Naruto had to take a step back, and Sakura fell to her knees, just because its was so immense and forceful.

"Wh-who are you!" Sakura cried, holding her hand over her throat because this powerful chakra made it hard to speak.

The strange girl turned her multicolor eyes on the long-haired female. Sakura gasped at the fierce eyes and almost fainted then and there. "My name is Nanami Harukiya," she whispered in a soft voice, and the force of her chakra grew even more so that Sakura cried out in fear and pain.

Sasuke and Naruto were in awe, especially Naruto. Naurto was a jincuuriiki so he could recognize another jincuuriiki, and this was definitely one. He could practically see the eight tails pattern her chakra made. The eight tailed bijuu was inside her, and she was controlling it. She was that powerful.

"You're the eight-tailed jinchuuriiki!" Naruto shouted pointing at her. Nanami smirked like Sasuke did a lot, yet a bit more feminine, and the crescent moon mark on her shoulder glowed a little. "That's me," she giggled. "And you're the nine-tails, arent you?'

Naruto gasped, even though jincuuriki could recognize each other, the way she said it made him feel a little afraid and for some reason he blushed. Well, this Nanami girl was a cute one, if a little evil-looking, the fox boy had to admit, and the Kyuubi agreed with him. In that moment Naruto grew a little crush on Nanami. He was the first and definitely not the last to hav that happen to him.

"Do any of you know the village of the leaf? Konohagakure, right?" She was looking down at the dead man's body, so she didn't see the genin's headbands, so she didn't know they were konoha ninjas. "Yeah, we're from there. Its just a few miles away." Sasuke said.

"Good." Said Nanami. "That guy was bearing a fake document on his person that would declare war between the sand and the leaf for no reason. If he'd managed to deliver it your village would be erupting in chaos about now and even the academy students would be sent to kill other ninjas senselessly and innocent blood would be shed." She sheathed the kunai she had been holding. "Just leave him. The vultures will have a fine meal tonight. Hey, I'll be needing a hotel for the night, would you mind taking me to your village? I'll only be there one night….uh hey, you guys?"

While Nanami had been ranting about nothing the clouds parted a little bit and a beam of sunlight slanted onto her, brightening her whole appearance and making her look like a sun-kissed goddess straight from the heavens. As he saw that, Sasuke decided then that Nanami would be the one to help him revive the Uchiha clan someday, and to win her heart he'd start today and right now and keep away any boy that wanted her for himself.

"Come with me, I'll take you," he said, walking into the woods and motioning with his hand for the foreign girl to follow him. Nanami smiled and followed him, and Naruto followed her, and Sakura followed him, crying and calling out for Sasuke like some stupid lost kid while he ignored her for Nanami, whose beauty and brains and obviously strength outdid Sakura's tenfold.

After a while Naruto and Sakura were listening to Nanami and Sasuke talking and laughing up ahead of them. It turned ot that they had a whole bunch in common and made great friends very easily. It was hard to believe to see Sasuke, the ice prince, the emo king in-training, flirting, FLIRTING! with a girl.

"And your faovirte colors?" asked Nanami, with her hands laced carefree behind her back, her differently colored eyes flashing with happiness.

"Black, red and silver." answered Sasuke with a smile. "Sometimes blue too."

"I like all of those, too!" Nanami exclaimed. "But I think purple is the best out of all of the colors. It's the color of beauty and royalty. Oh, but it reminds me of candy, too. There's only one kind of candy I like and I HATE all the other kinds!"

"I'm not a sweets person at all." Sasuke admitted. "I don't like any kinds of candy."

"Not even reese's cups? Mmmm, those things are so gooood!" She licked her lips 's sweet smile made Sasuke blush and smile, too. He held her hand and Nanami smiled even more at that.

Nanami was usually a serious ninja, a tough and fearless ninja from the mist village. Because she was a jinchuuriiki most of the villagers shunned her and she did her missions alone and lived alone too. The eighttailed bijuu was a leopard named Sango, who was dominating and loud and totally evil and wanted control of everything and hated pretty much anything that lived, except Nanami. She pitied her for being so alone and respected Nanami for being able to control her unimaginable power.

So she would rip apart anyone who dared threaten her.

Sango had been Nanami's only companion, the only friend she could remember, the only one she ever opened up to and was happy with. It was so strange for her to be cheerful and open around Sasuke Uchiha, who was usually never open. Even Sango seemed okay with him, and Nanami felt already that

she liked him. Even when she walked into the village and felt the prying, admiring eyes of many a boy on her, she kept her gaze on Sasuke Uchiha, who interested her.

Eventually their was one gaze that Nanami couldnt ignore. She got so sick of it she turned around and glared at the person who it belonged to.

It was Sakura, who stood with one hand over her heart in a girly way that Nanami hated. "Get away from Sasuke-kun!" she screamed running towards the couple, ready to push the jinchuuriki away from the boy she loved.

"Stupid bitch," Nanami muttered, and with a flick of her wrist a barrier of chakra appeared around her and Sasuke and Sakura crashed stupidly into the wall. She fell flat on her butt and stood up looking wounded and weak.

"God Sakura can't you ever get the fuck away!" Sasuke yelled. Sakura's eyes watered then and she started apologizing to Sasuke but stopped.

She gasped up at the chakra barrier wich had now taken the shape of a giant yellow leopard with one red and one blue eye floating evilly above Nanami. It showed its teeth and roared, and Sakura ran away screaming and crying.

"Finally." Said Sasuke. "She never goes the hell away. Thank you…" Sasuke stopped in his sentence when he noticed something on Nanamis arm, the one she used to flick the finger that summoned the chakra barrier that sakura ran into. It was a dark line on her arm a jagged scar that showed under her long-sleeved net shirt and went all the wy up her arm and probably across her back.

Nanami had told him almost everything anyone could want to know from a person and Sasuke wonderd why she hadnt explained this. 'What's that scar?' he asked suspiciously.

The eight-tailed jinchuuriiki went silentt and looked away. "that is…the mark that the village leader gave me last year. When he tried to kill me, And Sango saved me from being murdered."

"Why didn't you say something?" Sasuke whispered, reaching for her hand, but Nanami pulled away.

"You don't need to know, okay!" she sobbed. "I can't burden you with my sorrows! just leave it alone and you wont get hurt!" And she ran off using the bijuus speed so Sasuke couldn't catch her no matter what.

But Sasuke had shown her only one hotel in the village while they walked so the Uchiha boy knew where she would go anyway. He went there. By the time he arrived (since it took a long time to hide himself and be really stealthy) it was deep into the night and there was a full moon.

Nanami was sitting in the highest branch of the highest tree, with one leg over the trunk and dangling in the air and her gorgeous eyes looking way up at the ful moon. Sasuke tried to sneak up on her and pin her down but before he came close she said, "stop that, I heard you coming a long time ago."

"I'm really sorry." She said when he sat down on the branch next to her. Nanami's brown, blonde-streaked hair blew in the breeze. She said "I overreacted. I should have just told you while we were walking in the village. But I wasn't sure if I should tell you. I like ou a lot and if I talked about how much I had been hurt because I was a jinchuuriiki, I thought youd think I was too much trouble to have as a girlfriend…please forgive me!" and she fell crying into Sasuke's chest. Sasuke held on to her tightly under the fl moon.

"I don't care sbout that, I wouldn't even care if youd tried to commit suicide." Sasuke said sincerely after the nymphlike girl had cried a bit. "I love you Nanami. Do you love me back?"

"YES!" she said immediately. "Like nothing I've ever loved I swaer!"

Sasuke smiled into her hair and whispered, "Good, because I kinda feel like…" and he started unzipping Nanami's vest. Nanami giggled and searched for the buttons of Sasuke's pants. Sango purred in anticipation of the show she was about to watch.

* * *

><p>Lol, lemon hint at the end. Told ya! ;)<p>

I thought I would make it kinda obvious but its not as obvious as I wanted but I don't have time to write a real lemon. I have a choir concert to go to and I'm already like twenty minutes late. I tried really hard on this story so show me some reward for my effort! Well even if you don't, I got to bash Sakura that ho, my day is complete! please review and enjoy my story! Much love, y'all! Signed, FallenRaindancer

_(AN: Storm Says: At the top you are clearly warned of a "lemon hint" but also of the characters being roughly 14. Yet another example of how goddamned ridiculous mary-sues are. And this was but a taste of the Marysewage stew I've got cooked up for you…and yes, I did coin the name "Marysewage." ) _


	3. Mimi Kurayama

_(AN: Storm Says: Just to be clear, FallenRainDancer, nor any of the fanfic-ers you see "talking" to you in this story are real, you guys. It's just me, imitating the Mary-sue authors all of us have seen at one time or another. I guess you could say I'm RP-ing ;) Now then…ready for more?) _

…

…

HELLLLOOO ALLLLL!

Yes I did just come from the cuckoo hut! Your mom says hi! : D

Okay hyper stuff done, mostly…. PichuxChan55 here! I am here to grace you guys with this fanfiction! Kidding, XD Take a joke, u tards. Come on. Its actually a preview from a chapter where a lot of stuff has already happened, from Chapter 5 specifically. I've been working on this fic for a few weeks and here's a sneak peek, kay!

This story's about my OC Mimi Kurayama, the Dragon Princess. She's a Chuunin in Konoha. The Dragon God Ryuu lives in her head but only Tsunade and Kakashi know about it, and whenever she's in a fight where she's about to lose (which isn't too often) Ryuu tries to take control of her. Mimi needs to drink dragon blood every day to keep Ryuu from getting too powerful and forcing her to destroy everything. And in this part her friend Kai, who finds the dragon blood for her, has been killed so Mimi doesn't have her dragon blood and Deidara who likes Mimi is trying to figure out why she's acting up but he'd better get back or else Ryuu will force Mimi to…dun dun dun!

Tell me if you want me to post the whole story after u read the preview kay? Ja!

_**!**_

(A tall Chuunin girl with shoulder-length silver hair and orange eyes is at the Konoha training grounds. She's panting, and her black vest and fishnets are coated with sweat. Her long legs are trembling and her orange eyes are slowly turning red.)

Mimi: Kami-sama no. It's Ryuu. I can feel him. he wants to come out. My head is full to bursting with dragon power. He's roaring, screaming, singing, for blood and death. But I have to keep him in control…I have to…I have to…Konoha will be destroyed…it'll be the Nine tailed fox all over again.

In Mimi's head, a great green dragon is raging. It's as big as the Nine tailed fox, a long snaky Chinese dragon with huge silver horns on his head and bloodstained teeth and claws, and two tails with silver spikes. It is lashin its two tails at the golden beautiful cage it's residing in. The bars are cracking and the dragon's blood-red eyes are glowing with a great and terrible power.

Mimi: Kuso! Kuso! I can't hold him! (Falls to her knees, hands on her temples)

A flame erupts in the forest behind Mimi. Her orange eyes widen with lots of surprise. Naruto in his Jounin vest comes out of the woods, panting.

Naruto: Mimi! There you are! The Akatsuki are here! They say they want you!

Mimi: (gasps and shakes in fear, remembering Itachi who tried to rape her before she came to Konoha, and also remembering how Itachi almost went blind because Ryuu got angry and attacked him telepathically. She also cannot forget when she went on a mission with Hidan and he tried to convert her to Jashinism by force, but she couldn't dare think about that time.) W-What…!

More fire and flames and explosions go off from behind Naruto. He is struck in the back by the hilt of a shining sword and falls unconscious. Mimi tries to scream for her dear friend but screaming could loosen her hold on Ryuu so all she can do is stare at Narto who could be near dying for all the gal knows. Mimi hears Konoha ninja all around her, fighting some enemy and dying and screaming.

Mimi: (thinking) Please…why…don't fight a war just for me…Stop, Konoha, you need to surrender…

The wind blows and Mimi looks up smelling Deidara's special scent of wood and soil. He is crouching next to her and his Akatsuki cloak has blood all over it. For a minute Mimi feels happy that Deidara, her secret lover for almost four months now, is actually here next to her and they don't have to hide right now.

In Mimi's head Ryuu goes crazy at a person being so close and tries to get Mimi to kill him so Ryuu can drink the pathetic human's blood. Mimi shoots up and away from Deidara. She backs up against a tree trunk and slides down till she is sitting. Deidara stands up where he is and looks hurt.

Deidara (fists clinching): Mimi-chan…why? What are you doing, un?

In Mimi's head, the gold cage where Ryuu is stuck is now breaking open. Ryuu is slipping through a gaps one of the broken bars made, pulling his lips up over his pearly white teeth in a demonic and gleeful grin. He is out of his cage. Mimi rears her head back and screams. She can feel the dragon power flowing through her, making her powerful.

Mimi: I'm sorry Deidara! I'm so sorry! Not now…I can't…there's something I didn't tell you…about my past…

A ninja cries out somewhere far away. The two ignore it. Deidara perks up and smiles and Mimi can't help but smile too because he's so handsome and his smile is very infectious.

Deidara: Would you feel a little happier if I told you I killed that pink-haired bitch un?

Remembering the whiney 16-year-old medic nin who never left Naruto alone Mimi grinned a bit and felt the ache in her head made by Ryuu recede just a little. Sakura had been insanely jealous of Mimi and Naruto's friendship ever since she came to Konoha when she was fifteen a year ago.

Once she challenged Mimi to a fight for Naruto, lost pathetically, and soon after threatened to kill herself if Mimi didn't stop being Naruto's friend. Mimi admired her for having such courage to even make that threat, and attempted to be the girl's friend, even, but Sakura refused the offer, thinking that Mimi was a person far below her and not worthy of her friendship. Not long after this, she chickened out anyway on her claim to suicide, and lost that respect Mimi sort of had for her.

Mimi: Yeah, about time she died! Now Hinata-chan is free to try and get Naruto's attention again….Thank you, Deidara-kun, you're soo…URRGH!

Deidara stiffens and runs over to Mimi, preparing to do a medical jutsu, because he thinks she has an injury somewhere that's making his normally sweet and calm lover behave so crazily like this.

But when he's about halfway to her Mimi lifts up her hands and smashes her small fists into the tree trunk she's sitting against. The bark breaks and the braches burst into flame suddenly. The flames are bluish silver, and do not burn Mimi at all.

Mimi: I'm the Dragon Princess, Deidara-kun! Get back! Ryuu will make me kill you! AAAGH!

At this point, the Chuunin starts glowing with power, and the arrogance of Ryuu is slipping into reality. He is making her powerful and even making her clothes grow to suit his beauty standards. Mimi's simple black vest and red checkered capri shorts glow. The capri shorts melt away leaving her in a checkered miniskirt and her sleeveless vest grows long and flowing black sleeves with hems of silver. A diamond-studded anklet appears on her left foot, and all her nails are becoming delicately pointed on their little ends, like infant dragon claws. Two magnificent green wings sprout from her shoulders.

Mimi: (sobbing red tears) I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Deidara! I have to kill Ryuu! I'm sorry!

And so the Dragon Princess runs towards Konoha, towards her apartment. There is only one way to kill a dragon god. That is the same way you kill a regular dragon. And that way is to stab it through the heart with a blade made from the metal of a fallen star. In Mimi's apartment is a knife made from the metal of a fallen star, an incredible sword called the Honor Blade that she's carried with her since she was a lost child wandering around the land.

Mimi: There's only one way to save them…to save everyone…to save Konoha! (bright red eyes turn hard with determination) Ryuu, I'm going to kill you, by killing myself! If I have to go to the pit of hell then you're going to come with me! I'm going to stab myself in the heart, Ryuu, and you'll die with me, you hear me?

By now Mimi is using her (Ryuu's actually) green draconic wings to fly through the streets of Konoha and the places where her wingtips brush buildings melt away as though dipped in acid. Her red eyes have tears streaming through them. Mimi remembers her friends from before she went to Konoha. Saji, who helped her control her dragon abilities, and Kai, who was the greatest friend a girl could have, and Naruto, who'd almost been more than a friend, and Deidara, who would have probably been her husband one day if only she wasn't cursed to be the Dragon Princess…

Mimi: Minna…Goodbye.

She opens up the window to her apartment and sees the glint of the Honor Blade under the pink sheets of her bed. Mimi knows exactly what she had to do. With tears rolling down her cheeks she reaches down for the blade…

* * *

><p>Minna Japanese for everyone<p>

Kuso Japanese for damn.

DOES SHE KILL HERSELF? DOES DEIDARA FIND SOME OTHER WAY? Read next chapter and find out, you tards! No, just kidding. I love you guys tons.

FYI, the dragon blood that Mimi needs to drink every day is very toxic to anyone who doesn't have a dragon inside them like Mimi does, so if you tried to drink it, your throat would probably melt or something. Tell me what you think, kay? PichuxChan55, out!

_(AN: Storm Says: What's this? A Mary-sue author who can actually spell? Blasphemy! But not quite as blasphemous as writing a fanfic as though it's a script for a dramatic play! What kind of random BS is that!) _


	4. Emiko Ebony Ravenway Kami

_(AN: Storm Says: Get ready, you guys. This is the Queen of Mary-sues. A few years back, when this fanfiction was posted the first time, I would have easily called this the "fan-favorite" chapter, or more accurately, "the chapter which would get the most votes should there be a contest of which Mary-sue needs to be shot fastest." You'll see why. Aaaaaaand action!) _

Konnichiwa, my peeps!

Guess what, I've got a new story for ya! I spent the last couple weeks doodling my OC, Emiko (some of us have artistic talent, y'see) and then I came up with a backstory for her, and finally I started a story about her! she's eaten up like half my sketchbook now, well her and Kakashi haha! I don't want to waste time writing all her info and her past so I will just let the little summary do the talking and you can discover Emiko for yourself.

The last thing a super popular singer needs is a bunch of hot men chasing her! Emiko was topping the charts and had a great guy but suddenly things and taking a turn for the worse, when she finds the secret behind her sister's death…and her strange, even godly past…

Second fic ever! Let's get to it!

* * *

><p>The dressing room was filled with moaning and mewling. The soundproof walls kept anyone from heang what the silver-haired male and the delectable blonde were doing together. But no one would come in anyway since they could probably guess what was going on. Everybody already knew that the 17-year-old popstar, Emiko Ebony Ravenway Kami, or rather just Emiko or Emi, was in a relationship with Kakashi Hatake, the 26-year-old president of Konoha Inc and the second-richest man in the world.<p>

Emiko's dressing room was decked out with the most fashionable, expensive and beautiful outfits anyone could imagine. Pink and black minidresses were complemented by sensual frills and wide neckholes that showed cleavage and skin-tight-material that showed off the curves of anyone who wore them namely Emiko.

Snow-leopard-fur boots in the closet were tipped with cute puffballs around the top hems and bracelets and necklaces at the vanity dresser were made of sapphires and diamonds and black opals and any other gemstone a girl could ever want, not that Emiko wanted for much. Much of her clothes and accessories were gifts given by fans and supporters.

But all Emiko and Kakashi were interested was each other, their presence together in was the four-post-queen-size bed. Their clothes, Kakashi's tux, tie and boxers and Emiko's lacy bra and thong and Egyptian cotton nightgown were all strewn around on the flooor around the bed.

"Ohh….mmmm….K…_KAKASHIII!" _

Emiko came at the same time as Kakashi did and they panted and stared lovingly at each other. "We…we've only got ten minutes before curtain, Emi." The silver-haired-president said. "I'd love to literally sleep with you on this bed but you've got half a million fans waiting out there."

The teen's smile made Kakashi warm inside but then-again, so did everything about her. Emiko's trademark was her straight blonde hair which went down almost all the way down her back, and was a little bit wavy in the front on her bangs. These lovely locks framed a heart-shaped face with two perfect aqua colored eyes and full red lips. Her chest was well-endowed, more than any Victoria's secret push-up bra could hope to achieve, and her curves and long, creamy-skinned legs were the envy and admiration of girls everywhere. Almost any set of clothes looked good on her and she knew it, and always used her vast knowledge of fashion and makeup to make them look even better. All in all, Emiko looked like some kind of goddess, and Kakashi liked to think that was exactly what he had at his side.

"Yea, you're right," the 17-year-old-blonde giggled. "Don't look okay? I'm going to put on my candy white dress."

Kakashi shook his head at her childish name for the simple and sensual dress that could make him lose his mind whenever she wore it. "Actually, I've got to go. They'll need me back-stage right before you go on." He lied.

The truth was he didn't want his lust to take over and for he and Emiko to end up in bed together again while she was supposed to be singing to half a million fans in Madison Square Garden. It didn't matter if they had sex in the dressing room on their own time but if Emiko skipped one of her concerts to get laid then they would really be in trouble with the tabloids, and the fans as well.

The silver-haired-president left Emiko's dressing room and left her to stare at her reflection in the huge mirror. Emiko's favorite dress was one she called her candy white dress, because it was white and the first time she wore it she was eating a whole lot of candy. It was simple and almost knee-length, but it hugged her curves and the angelic, white material was very comfortable. The straps went up her collarbone and around the back of her neck and left a tasteful span of her upper back bare.

But no one but Emiko, and not even her boyfriend Kakashi, knew of the dress's dark secrets…secrets of Emiko's past…

Emiko touched a delicate hand to her heart and tried to keep from sobbing and making tear tracks over her makeup. One single tear leaked from her eyes, but it didn't damage her blush as much as she feared it would. She wiped it away and was strong again.

The "candy white" dress was worn in the memory of Emiko's twin sister, who had died the day before Emiko bought the dress, almost two years ago to this day. Emiko knew from spies she had hired that her sister's killer was the leader of a strange cult called Akatsuki and that they had wanted Emiko and not her twin, Aoi.

However, Aoi and Emiko were identical twins so Akatsuki killed the wrong one that horrible night at the costume ball in Paris. Aoi didn't know why she'd been killed that night and all she could do in her dying moments was to tell her twin sister to run before they killed her, too. It was only thanks to the special training her instructor Tsunade had given her to sneak out a window and dash down the street, then blend in with the crowd so that she couldn't be found. She had been dodging attempts from these dark and dangerous people for two years now.

"_EMIKO! EMIKO! EMIKO!" _

But now wasn't the time to worry about them. Now she had fans to please!

It was thirty seconds to curtain. But there wasn't really any curtain on the Madison Square Garden stage, she would actually come up onto the stage from a stairway but "curtain" was like the popstar codeword for "get up there and start singing" so it was thirty seconds till Emiko did that.

She had fixed her hair into a perfect down-do and added a little sapphire necklace to her outfit. Emiko looked dashing, if she did say so herself! She left the dressing room with an excited smile; singing in front of a crowd always made her happy. It was just a part of Emiko to love making people happy, especially by singing. Emiko didn't notice any of the male crew members staring at her. She was smiling her angel's smile, thinking of music.

Music had always been close to Emiko's heart. She and her twin Aoi always used to rock out to the radio, write their own songs and sing and dance in school plays. Even when Aoi was just a normal teen and Emiko became a popstar, they always found time together to sing and listen to music. It connected her to her dead sister, but Emiko loved it for other reasons too.

"Okay, it's time! Here's your mic, Emi." the concert director handed her the mic. "You know what to do, kid!" Emiko winked and giggled at him, her heart soaring. She loved to sing in front of people. It let out her emotions, good and bad.

"And now, give it up for Emiko Ebony Ravenway Kami!" The door in the ceiling opened and Emiko walked confidently up the stairs through it to go onto the stage and see a crowd surrounding her on all sides, cheering so loud she could barely hear herself think. But it was okay. She loved this environment. The music started. Emiko began to lose herself as she started full-out singing.

_**When you walk away  
>You don't hear me say please<br>Oh baby, don't go  
>Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight<br>It's hard to let it go  
>When you walk away<br>You don't hear me say please  
>Oh baby, don't go<br>Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
>It's hard to let it go<strong>_

_**You're giving me too many things  
>Lately you're all I need<br>You smiled at me and said,**_

_**Don't get me wrong I love you  
>But does that mean I have to meet your father?<br>When we are older you'll understand  
>What I meant when I said "No,<br>I don't think life is quite that simple"  
><strong>_

The 17-year-old popstar was singing like she'd never sung before. She could practically hear her late sister singing with her as stage lights danced and whirled around her in violet, blue and pink splashes. Nothing mattered now but the music and Emiko. The fans went even wilder and louder as Emiko began moving her body and dancing to the song's rhythm.

_**When you walk away  
>You don't hear me say please<br>Oh baby, don't go  
>Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight<br>It's hard to let it go**_

_**The daily things  
>that keep us all busy<br>all confusing me thats when u came to me and said,**_

_**Wish i could prove i love you  
>but does that mean i have to walk on water?<br>When we are older you'll understand  
>It's enough when i say so,<br>And maybe somethings are that simple**_

_**When you walk away  
>You don't hear me say please<br>Oh baby, don't go  
>Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight<br>It's hard to let it go**_

_**Hold me  
>Whatever lies beyond this morning<br>Is a little later on  
>Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all<br>Nothing's like before  
><strong>_

_**Hold me  
>Whatever lies beyond this morning<br>Is a little later on  
>Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all<br>Nothing's like before**_

_**Hold me  
>Whatever lies beyond this morning<br>Is a little later on  
>Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all<br>Nothing's like before**_

The crowd went totally crazy, cheering Emiko's name and throwing roses and daisies, her favorite flowers, onto the stage. Emiko waved to her audience and picked up one rose and one daisy. She waved the flowers around before turning away and walking proudly down the stairs that led below the stage.

Far back in the crowd stood two men with sniper guns hidden on them. They shook their heads in wonderment at the girl's voice. Maybe they didn't have to kill that gorgeous girl with the voice that would make sirens green with envy. Maybe her angel powers wouldn't destroy the world after all. Maybe they would save it. Maybe the leader of their Akatsuki cult was the one that had it all wrong…

* * *

><p>No, before you ask, Emiko doesn't know about her angel background. I'll leave you gals and guys to guess who the two handsome men at the end were and decide if Aoi really is dead or not…it's all so suspenseful! What does Kakashi know about it anyway? Tune in next time to the next chapter of Emiko: The Popstar Angel.<p>

_(AN: Storm Says: Now was that the worst or was that the WORST? This Mary-sue can't just taint the Naruto world, with the song she sang, she's reaching her infectious, ugly fingers into Kingdom Hearts, too. If you are thoroughly stunned at this chapter and need a moment to compose yourself before hitting the flame—I mean, the review button, then I've done my job well. I think it'll be darn difficult to top this one. Well...ta-ta~) _


	5. Yukina 'Cold Fury' Lin

_(AN: Storm Says: This chapter was not in the original fanfic that was posted two years ago. I have but one of the original chapters left and I think I'll save it, and leave you with the hint "SasorixOC pairing". For this chapter, I've started a new sort of Mary-sue…the "tough chick." Watch Itachi tremble before her and her twin creators who can't write a long paragraph to save their lives.)_

Ginga: Sup guys ;)

Tsuki-hime: Shut up and get on with the story!

Ginga: Geez, chill, Tsuki. -.- I'm gonna already…okay, this is a story my friend Tsuki and I have been cooking up in our spare time

Tsuki-hime: Which means during school lunch, haha~

Ginga: Yay for school lunch :D Anyway, it's the tale of an OC we have created together, Yukina Lin, and we are quite proud of her! We created a whole backstory for her and everything and we have practically teh whole story planned out so yay!

Tsuki-hime: And the pairings as well ;D We DO plan to write hentai sections when the time comes so u guys can vote on which guy you want Yukina to be with first! VOTE 4 ITACHI OR DIE.

Ginga: OMG don't scare the readers! Vote for whoever you like but yes that translates to Itachi sooo….if you know what's good for you….

Tsuki-hime: Well, Sasori's dam sexy too.

Ginga: True dat! (drool) Maybe you guys should vote for Sasori!

Tsuki-hime: Well maybe we should start the story first. Super Awesome Cool Sexy Exciting Wonderful Fanfiction, GO!

* * *

><p>It was another day in one of orochimaru's many prisons. He had a dozen of them nowadays, and he kept some of the world's most dangerous criminals in them for jutsu experimentation.<p>

On this day, he had just tried to use a new jutsu against one of his A-class prisoners, which meant she lived at the lowest level underground in the prison so she'd have the least chance of getting out. She was battered and bruised from the fire jutsu he had just used on her.

The name of this particular young woman was Yukina Lin. Yukina is from a nameless village in the Land of Bones, which began its existence as a kind of house for all the ninja criminals in the world, like Australia.

Yukina was somehow born with the Sharingan and the Uchiha clan from Konoha were furious that their special technique appeared in some random girl so they killed all of Yukina's family, even her family cat, when she was six.

Yukina escaped however and began killing people because the murder was her first memory so she thought killing was a normal thing to do. When she learned it w as not she didn't car.e and continued murdering just for the heck of it along with her Sharingan powers.

Soon enough, in the Land of Bones, and also Fire and Iron, "Yukina" became practically just another word for "cold-blooded killer."

Nowadays this very Yukina had been caught by Orochimaru himself, and he was quite proud of his catch.

After all, what human male on the world would not be entranced by a warrior woman, but one whose fiery red hair put the color of flame to shame, that put even the word silkiness to shame, whose appreciative height and lean body had dropped the jaws of many men before the jaws got really severed from their heads?

After all, one thing Yukina had done besides kill people her whole life was keep herself looking nice and it showed a lot.

She had also built up an immunity to flames, and got nothing but bruises and perhaps a scratch from a sharp lick of fire across her skin or something. Orochimaru wondered what kind of name she would have once news of that spread. Yukina Fireskin, Yukina Heatless? What wondrous contrast to be known as both very cold an very hot, in many ways.

Those names, anyhow, would be added to the list of ones she was already known by, like The Heartless, or Ice-cold She-wolf, or Cold Fury.

"Yukina. Yukina" he said, leaning down to look at her. Yukina was chained to a gurney that two lackeys were pulling down the dark hall past many cells.

At the sound of her name, the redheaded beast woke up, flashing impressive teal orbs at her evil capturer.

"The fuck do you want." She spat up at him.

'_The same spirit as always, Yukina. Never bending to my will.' _Orochimaru thought. Few shinobi could match that.

"I just want to let you know that you have some visitors today. They paid a hefty price to be able to talk to you."

This comment made Yukina very confused. _'What could he mean by that? Prisoners don't get visitors that's just weird. Ah well, maybe I can use them in my plan to escape this place and keep killing.' _

Soon enough the gurney was pushed into one of the cells in the dark hallway and the chains disappeared with a jutsu so the woman on the surface of it could get off.

By the time she stood up and stretched, Orochimaru was gone.

Yukina decided to pass the time by counting the little cuts Orochimaru's recent fire jutsu had given her.

Maybe an hour later, the visitors appeared. Yukina's cat-like ears heard them a long way down the hall before they came, and she also felt their chakra. She knew it.

'_Akatsuki, hm?' _She waited for them to come to her, and sat casually against the wall of the cell.

When they came, there were many of them and they stood in the dark like wolves together.

They were just a little bit intimidating till one of them said, "Shit yeah! She's a real hottie! For the love of Jashin, let's bring her with us!"

Yukina frowned at them and the pervy jackass they had with them.

"Do you mind? You're all blocking my light. I'm trying to paint my nails in here!" She pretended to hold some nail polish.

"Yukina Lin," said one of them, with piercings in his nose, ears and lips and rings in his silver eyes. "You will soon escape this prison."

The thought was exciting but Yukina was too smart to be fooled by such a silyl promise out of onwhere. "Yeah, right. And pigs will fly."

Another one in the group of red and black cloaks spoke. He had long black silky hair and red eyes. "Do ont speak so carelessly. You may join us yet, whether you wish to or not."

"Whatever," the redheaded woman sighed, and crossed her legs.

She looked the pierced one in the eye and activiated her Sharingan. She glared at him.

It wasn't enough to glare, though. She yelled at him. "Don't you come here with false promises, you lying sack of shit. No one appreciates that and I have better things to do than listen to punks like you."

A taller one laughed. She saw funny things on his bluish face that might have been gills and she gagged at the sight of those. "Ugh! What are you looking at, fishface?"

"Sounds like a certain pretty gal's got fire in her," said fishface.

"She could certainly make a hefty sum." Said another tall one. "Yukina the ice-cold indeed."

"Just what we came here for." Agreed the fishface

'_What they came here for? What does that mean? _"What does that mean?"

"It means what it means. We are here to invite you to the Akatsuki." Said aonther man with red hair and a pretty face.

Yukina suddenly blushed at him. "Y-Yeah, well what if I don't want to? I have, um, I have my own plans for my life and they don't include wearing a wacky coat that screams "i have no fashion sense!' okay?"

"Hey, I always thought they looked good." Said fishface.

"Fuck yeah, they are!" said the jackass who spoke first, and used the word Jashin. "You can wear them with so many buttons open it's practically like going topless."

The jackass's purple eyes were narrowed and focusing creepily on Yukina, particularly on her chest, slightly exposed with her low top. "Sound good, firegirl?"

"Pain-sama, may I have your permission to cut off this man's tongue?" murmured a female voice that Yukina hadn't noticed before. Then she saw a woman with blue hair and eyeliner.

"Just slit one of his ears, Konan, he needs his tongue." Said the one with the piercings.

Suddenly the pierced guy's eyes began glowing. "Do you have any idea where this is? This is Akai Prison, the most awful of Orochimarus holding pens. If you stay here for another month you will surely die. We offer you a chance to live."

Holding pen? That sounded really sucky. Well, life here had been pretty bad for the last four months or so. Yukina started to consider. "Hm, maybe I'll go. But then maybe once you open the door I'll just run."

"Like you would, un" said another member. This one was blonde with very long hair. "We'd catch you and have you on the ground before you know it. Not that that's a bad thing."

"Hmm," agreed the redheaded one quietly.

At these two comments Yukina suddenly felt like a nervous virgin and stammered, "Uh, okay! Fine! I'll go be with the Akatsuki! Just make sure not to let anyone else out, okay?"

The door opened with a special jutsu done by the one who talked about hefty sums. "Why's that?" he asked.

"'Cause it's a madhouse down here!" Yukina laughed.

* * *

><p>Ginga: Lol not quite what I wanted but this'll do!<p>

Tsuki-hime: I caught hints of SasoYuki~

Ginga: More like MultiYuki

Tsuki-hime: Omg yes! Spread that pairing around everybody! MultiYuku wins! Everyone in the Akatsuki is falling at the redheaded temptress' feet (swoon)

Ginga: MultiYuki sounds awesome…the only other Multi pairing out there I see usually is MultiSaku…ready Tsuki!

Ginga and Tsuki: EWWWWWWWW.

Tsuki-hime: Yeah, the Akatsuki and every guy in the world deserve better than that. Maybe Hitler deserves that!

Ginga: lol yes!

Tsuki-hime: okey dokey artichokey! Everyone get ready for some MultiYuki, the new BEST PAIRING EVER, and some stunning news about Deidara we've got cooked up hokay?

Ginga and Tsuki: Sayonara minna-san!

_(AN: Storm Says: I don't know about you, but I really don't care for chapters where the author pretends to be talking to somebody, even another author. These two authors can't even pretend to do it well. They do, pretend, however, that the Akatsuki can be intimidated and brushed off by a mean redhead girl who gets BRUISES from FIRE. What.) _


	6. Bio of Suzume Rei Hayashibara Senju

_(AN/Storm Says: Oh my, it's been half a year since I last updated MarySewage. Time to remedy that. Your treat, alternatively poison, is not a story but a bio of a Sue. This is a common accompaniment to many Sues, and something I've noticed my story has been lacking, which is unacceptable because this is the damn Mary Sue Department, so where the heck are my novella-length bios? Right here! Ready, comrades? Ready…aim…fire. Btw, this one actually managed to momentarily cross dimensions and obtain a Pokemon. Whoa, there.) _

Excellent! just finished the bio of my favorite rpc Suzume. :) I've had her for over a year and writing fics about her is probs my guilty pleasure/biggest internet hobby/whatever. Color me a Narutard lol! So here's Suzume! My friend Kia will soon post her bio of her rpc, Kittenne, so look out for her too, cause Suzume and Kittenne are part of the same story I am writing for them, **The Last of the Sparrow Claws. **

By the way…

It would seriously make my day if you'd review…pleeeeease? :)

* * *

><p>Full Name: Suzume Rei-Hayashibara Senju. Most people call her Suzu.<p>

Age: 15, soon to be 16

Appearance: Long, thick VERY LIGHT lavender hair with one black streak near the front, on the left side. Usually tied up into a semi-high ponytail and let down at night. Wears a dark green tee cut just below the breasts, fishnets under that cover a few inches lower. Regular ninja cargo pants, fingerless gloves, belt with small supply bag tired to it

In her past: Suzume was the last known Senju (parents unknown, most likely dead) and raised with a "foster family" who always wondered if they were in danger because of her. One night her adoptive father hired mercenaries to wake up the ten-year-old Suzume and kill her in the night. Suzume utilized her Kekkei Genkai, **Eye of the Sparrow, **unintentionally and killed all the men with a small kunai. The previously happy-go-lucky child still _looked _happy-go-lucky but now had no faith in people or her family. Moved to Konoha after graduating Academy and met people she thought were actually worth protecting and loving.

Personality: Very sweet and smiley, and loves to play games and have fun. But she is also very cunning, can set better traps/pranks than Naruto, and way deep down has a hot, burning hatred and violence inside her. Appears nice and feminine and fun but turn into your worst nightmare ever if pissed off. She loves animals, especially birds or cats.

School: Graduated second-best in her grade from the Academy in the Village Hidden in the Gems, valedictorian was Kittenne

Powers: Being a lost descendent of the Senju clan gives Suzume some rare powers few other shiniobi are capable of. Thanks to her deep connection with nature, she has occasional visions of the future, can communicate with certain birds, and sometimes even delivers messages from mystical beings like elemental dragons, or the Phoenix Goddess, Kella. But her greatest power is her clan's old Kekkei Genkai, **Eye of the Sparrow. **Using it hurts the user's eyes a lot but it lets them foresee and doge anything coming their way to hurt them so they can't be harmed at all. If necessarily, (shouldn't be) two dark wings made of pure chakra will appear to shield the user, with the same defensive powers as the Uchiha's Susano'o. Suzu has only used **Eye of the Sparrow **three times in her life. It once caused her to dip dimensions, she arrived into a world of strange creatures and one got sucked back home with her, a creature called a Pokemon, a sweet Dragonair she named Ria.

Bio: She was bullied by a lot of kids in class for being "different" (hair color particularly) and also by kids who were jealous of her grand heritage. Already by that age she has seen the evils of humanity and was secretly wishing she could destroy them once and for all (she means bad people, mostly, thieves/rapists/murderers/bullies, but sometimes all of humanity angers her, although she would never hurt animals or her beloved Ria). She knows everything there is to know about birds and many shinobi techniques.

As a child she was always very talented, especially with speed and evasion, everyone was proud of her... except for a dark force that is always watching her every move, and has been since she first used her KG. Her happy personality attracted many eyes to her, some curious and many with fluttering hearts accompanying them. Kiba has had a crush on her ever since he saw her on the day he became a genin and she moved to Konoha. Naruto loved to play pranks and chat with her, and Sasuke, after returning to Konoha, has been known to stare at her when he thinks no one is looking. Even Hinata sometimes blushes or fidgets like a blushing bride when she talks to Suzu.

Love interests: a few over the years. Kiba has been crushing on her since day one and Suzu keeps interpreting his date requests as just a friends' day out, but she is slowly becoming aware that he really likes her. Suzu herself has feelings for Naruto and has always admired and respected his endless courage and determination to become strong and earn respect. On the more "primal" side of things, she had a few sex dreams about Akasuna no Sasori after she spied him in the Land of Rivers, not long before he battled Sakura Haruno and was tragically murdered by her. Suzu also jokes that if she was a lesbian she would want to be with Hinata.

Inspite of everything, Suzume does not always like being a girl, infact her very dark secret that only Ria knows: She thinks she wants to be a male, she does not know why, only it just feels right. Since they are probably not that accepting of FTMs* in the shinobi world, this secret will probably die with her, but it won't ruin her life or anything.

Bf: None right now, but she hopes Naruto will be one day

Talents: Perfect evasion skills and speed on par with Lee without his leg weights, can move faster if she's really in the zone or has just taken a food pill. Also can cook some amazing tempura.

* * *

><p>And that's all she wrote! Well all I wrote (ba-dum chh!rimshot) Any other questions about Suzu that weren't answered in the bio, just shoot me a review or a PM, I will be happy to answer. Also I need one girl OC to join Suzume's genin team! I just put a filler girl in the story but I'd like to replace her with a real OC so everybody line up and maybe I will choose yours.

*FTM = "female-to-male transgender". I just thought this would be an interesting thing to add to an OC to make them more unique ^^ One of my friends is actually an FTM so the idea didn't technically come from me but sooo….yeah. Um. Yes.

Also since I just love Hinata, I added in some yuri potential :p Suzu would make her happy, I bet. Unfortunately, she's gonna be with Naruto most likely! NaruSuzu, anyone? (Me: YES PLZ :O)

Yikes that's enough for now…see ya later! Please read **The Last of the Sparrow Claws **when it comes out!

_(AN/Storm Says: God that took a long time. Building a Mary Sue profile is long, tedious work. Her appearance is based off one of those "edit a screenshot of a Naruto girl" pictures that plague Photobucket, and her personality was based off of a Pokemon trainer Sue I found (she was the only member of her species left, was born during the creation of the universe, could summon natural disasters, and was named Bizzy. Mm-hmm. _

_OH! IMPORTANT NEWS, MAYBE. I'm considering creating a forum centered around picking out bad fanfiction and giving them constructive criticism reviews so the authors can improve. Perhaps with side-topics of hating on Mary Sues we find, and recommending awesome stories to each other. Would anyone follow/participate in such a forum?) _


	7. Airi of the Moon

_(AN: Storm Says: I admit this is a rather lackluster chapter compared to some others, but I'm all right with that, since I'm using this as an opportunity to advertise something else anyhow. But before that, let me say that this was a chapter in the original MarySewage, that is, before I took it down and later re-posted it. I didn't do much "editing" here, so what you see is almost exactly what the readers from 2009 saw when they first read this. Not that editing this would save the Sue or the all-too-typical Sakura bashing. Next chapter, I will be taking a reviewer's advice and writing a chapter about a Gary Stu! That'll be interesting indeed._

_One rather shallow reason I'm posting this chapter is to draw readers' attention to a poll in my profile about yaoi. You are welcome to avoid it if that's not your thing, but I'd appreciate any and all input. _

_In fact, if yaoi's not your thing, you can just stay right here and read this chapter I wrote...probably three years ago, by a sixteen-year-old me. I remember thinking to myself at the time, 'I'll write this in such a crude and simple style, people will think the author is actually joking,' and you will see that I succeeded. But we're to believe that this "author," a Sasori-loving girl, is quite serious.)_

* * *

><p>SOOOOOOOOO I got some news for you guys! Soon I'm gonna be starting a new fanfiction and its about my OC, Airi, and she's gonna be paired with Sasori (insert HOTNESS!) and sort of Kiba (insert SWOONING!)<p>

Yeah I know it's a weird pairing…but I don't like normal pairings like SasukeSakura and NarutoHinata. KakashiAnko makes me laugh quite a bit but that's the only even vaguley popular pairing I'll go for. I especially hate anything with Sakura. Daaaaamn bitch. She doesn't do anything good. If Chiyo hadn't helped her with Sasori he would have totally owned her. She probly feels horrible that an old woman with arthritis had to help her out and an old woman with arthritis is ten times stronger than her. This fic is also gonna bash Sakura some, cause she sucks and deserves bashing.

Okay so before I post the first chapter I'm gonna give you all a good, nice summary. The space they give you on the edit page on fanfic dot net isn't enough. It's barely enough for anything so my summary will go here. Have fun and get ready!

* * *

><p>Before the lands (Fire, Sound, Grass, all the others) were named as we know now, there was an extra land in a little corner of what is now Fire Country. It was owned by a couple rich families and their shinobi loyal to them. All the people in that land, Moonlight Country, were extremely powerful and their Chuunin Exams were harder than anywhere else, and all jutsus around the world originally came from Moonlight country and its people. All the lands were really jealous of little Moonlight Country for its wealth and power and magnificence, so they decided to team up and take it down.<p>

Moonlight country was in a bad state, everyone was sick and dying from a strange disease so when shinobi from all of the countries came and killed everyone, they couldn't do anything. Even their summoning animals, which were mythical wolves, dragons, unicorns and deer, were sick and got killed.

The Queen of Moonlight Country saw her husband get killed and hid her seven-year-old daughter just before she got killed too. The daughter, Airi Moonlight, was the only survivor of the whole massacre of the country, the only survivor of hundreds dead.

She ran away with her mother's flute and a summoning scroll and escaped the dying country into the Land of Fire. She lived alone off the land for years. Animals sensed she was a lonely, helpless little girl, and they gave her food, water, weapons, shelter and friends.

Wolves hunted for her food and deer gave her rides through the forest and rabbits and squirrels kept her company and played with her. The summoning scroll Airi took from her country luckily contained one of all the animals that her country had: one deer, one unicorn, one dragon and one wolf.

The deer, dragon, wolf and bear were all black with hypnotic blue eyes and very powerful. The deer was Prongs, the dragon was Blaze, and the wolf was Strider, The unicorn, though, was white, and her horn sparkled all colors of a rainbow and she was most powerful of all. The unicorn's name was Kara, and she was the most powerful summon found in the world. She dedicated her life to loving and protecting Airi.

Then one day Airi was sixteen years old, happily living with her animals. She was riding bareback on Kara and the white steed ran over a river, running on water and went under a rock archway. There she saw a beautiful red-head man battling it out with a stupid girl with pink hair and an old woman.

The red-head man was using puppets to slice them to shreds, and while the puppets sliced and diced the women the man turned to look at Airi, riding on Prongs's' back. Immediately they saw each others beauty and perfection and fell in love. The pink-haired girl, Sakura, saw them together, got viciously jealous and ran away.

The red-head was called Sasori and he took her back to the headquarters of his criminal cult, Akatsuki. Airi was excited because Sasori had introduced her to Pein, the leader, and hed said that he would help her bring back Moonlight Country to existence if she would allow his Akatsuki to pass through it whenever. Airi believed in justice and hated criminals but if Sasori was part of a crime group then she would accept it so she did. Pein noticed the only reason she agreed was because of Sasori and got jealous.

Akatsuki hired some shinobi to cause trouble in the corner of Fire Country where Moonlight Country once was and soon borders and little towns were established and Moonlight Country was back on track. Airi was a princess again, Sasori married her and they became King and Queen together and Moonlight Country was once again the best and most powerful of the ninja lands.

Just before everything seemed perfect, Airi hunted down the pink-haired girl that shed first seen Sasori fighting and brought her to her personal chambers in her castle. Airi slapped the girl for being so stupid thinking she could win against him and dunked her hair in oil so it was black now and the ugly pink was gone and not making Airi or the rest of the world sick anymore.

Then Kara the unicorn said she didn't want her queen Airi getting her hands dirty with that stupid slut, so Kara sliced open Sakura's guts with her rainbow horn. Konoha sent her a thank-you letter with signaturres from every villager and after a while, Sakura's parents sent her a lot of money out of gratitude.

Then everything was perfect.

* * *

><p>So that's the summary of my story, but I only covered the big big parts so i left out a lot of events. Some Slutra bashing absolutely, um what else...Well I know I missed the part wherein Kiba sees Airi bathing in a waterfall in the Kiri wilderness, which is a big turning point in his feelings for her, and where he really starts to try and get her to love him back. And there's tons of conflict in that subplot that I just can't wait for, O.M.G.~ There's also a secret about the summoning dragon that I left out, and a bit where Tobi (secretly Madara at least in this fic) likes Airi also and geez I left out a lot didn't I...sumimasen...but you will see these parts in the real story. I think I will call it "Moonlight Princess Tale" or "Airi Of The Moon." Which one do you guys like better? Well till I get some reviews toodle-oo!<p>

_(AN: Storm Says: What a way to rip Sasori's canon self to shreds. It's like the fanfiction version of the Fargo woodchipper. Even my OOC-all-over-the-place story Time That Passed doesn't twist him quite this badly...I think...Sasori has still probably seen worse Mary Sues thrust upon him. Well, a princess OC and a unicorn that walks on water, hell, I should have seen that coming. As one reviewer, anime-maniac101 from a few years ago put it, I don't really like Sakura, but... still, a unicorn slicing her guts out with a rainbow horn... how gay can you get?"_

_Indeed.  
><em>

_Ta-ta for now. I do hope that some of you will visit my poll, and if not, at least "enjoy" this Sue till the next one...created by The Naruto Fanboy, comes along. When I write that chapter, it'll be time for me to bring out, or perhaps "write out" the Big Guns.")_


	8. Haze Yamagashi

_AN/Storm Says: It's been quite a long while. Remember this story? I do. HAPPY HALLOWEEN, TRICK OR TREAT, YOU GET A GARY STU!  
><em>

_Last chapter (EONS AGO) I got a request from a reader that the next chapter feature a male OC for a change. I was intrigued and decided to go for it. Though most Sue characters are female, the odd male does exist. Despite the fact that female Sues tend to be extravagant, fantastically beautiful and beloved and powerful, admired by all, it's still the male ones that more often strike me as the most…pretentious. I have made an attempt to emulate this._

_This OC here is partially based on an RP original-character, whose creator I knew when I was 12 and was first discovering fanfiction. I actually let him bring his character into my Inuyasha fanfiction, and a few times he wrote the chapters. More on that later, we have some mercenaries to kill!_

* * *

><p><strong>Title: <strong>The Knight of No Stars

**Chapter: **Two

**Fandom:** Naruto

**Summary: **The truth is there are more tailed beasts in the world, more monsters, more demons, more darkness than you can possibly imagine. Total blackness and death, a night of no stars, threatens the entire ninja world. ANBU, Kage, jinchuuriki can only hold it at bay. The one thing people know of that can stop it is the one force of equal power. A dragon sage; a knight.

**Characters: **Haze Yamagashi (Author's OC, rhymes with "raise", not "kaze"), Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Hinata Hyuga, Temari Subaku, Gaara Subaku, others.

**Pairings: **HazexHinata, HazexHarem, AsumaxKurenai

**Warnings: **heavy violence, abuse, adult content

**Notes: **maybe not my best work, but I'm really fond of it so I'm posting it. I estimate 7 – 9 chapters? There'll be spoilers up to about chapter 630 for character identities and powers, but in the story the ninja war is over and won.

Chapter Two: The Last Dragon

READ AND REVIEW.

"_I can't see anything."_

"_Where's the sensor ninja?"_

"_Here sir I'm looking for him but there's nothing within ten miles" _

"_And he'd better not be, the contents of the laboratory vault are more precious than your life and mine, if He comes within ten miles of here it'll be the end of us." _

And once he spoke that sentence, it WAS the end of them. He slipped inside the castle, up over the walls and the fifty turret guns and sensory ninja that were set up all around the wall perimeter to watch for Him. Once the captain spoke that sentence, He was becoming visible again and in seconds the guards would notice Him.

The guards had all known He was coming, and there was nothing they could do about it. None of them were allowed to leave either, under orders from their highest commanding officer. They all knew that if they tried to leave, they'd be executed anyway, so they didn't bother trying. They were all thankful however, that none of them had any family. This mercenary group that they had all joined had become their family, so at least they were going to die among brothers.

The rookie sensor ninja among the mercenaries turned first, and nearly fell over. His eyes went wide as a saucer when he saw Him. "YOU!" he shouted, and everybody else turned also.

Haze withdrew the Hayabusa from its sheath and the fabled "Dragonknife" found its first victim. He cut deep into the belly of the first guard, and twisted so that, organs were pulled from their places in the belly and heaved out. The man choked and burbled. A strange energy leaking out of him. The whole gory move startled the whole platoon and one even dropped to his knees. "You'll have to do better than that if you want to stop me," He told them. The dead man fell over and Haze flashed the sword, splattering the blood on the ground. The Valyrian steel glinted under the light of the moon.

"Point me to Orochimaru's hiding spot and you can all run free."

Obviously they were considering it. The whole group of fifty men was silent and staring, and they should be. Orochimaru had hired men to cut down dangerous shinobi, but not this one. This was a man beyond shinobi, beyond Orochimaru, and he should have known that. At least these men _did _know that.

Before them was the last of the Yamagashi, the son of the clan leader: Haze Yamagashi, the first and last shinobi knight, a master of dragons. He had the usual Yamagashi nut-brown hair, about the length of a forearm. It was held in a neat samurai ponytail and with only spiked youthful bangs reaching over His rust-orange eyes, also and long runner's legs, the usual Yamagashi one-shouldered vest—a design the current Kazekage had copied a few years back—but a very _un_usual chakra about Him that even most genin would be able to sense. It leaked out of Him in small waves of orange-veined black and made the white sash on His waist billow out. Every inch of Him was as legends and fearful tavern storytellers told it, most especially, the voice.

"I'm waiting." The Yamagashi son told them. A blood droplet fell off the edge of the sword and He disappeared. The men scrambled.

"_Katon: Gokyaku no jutsu!"_

"_Hissatsu Hyōsō, Certain-kill Ice spear!"_

"_Chakra CHAINS!" _

Energy, fire and ice went flying. The mortar and stone of the castle blasted outward and crushed trees and hills. Half the wall's turrets' caught fire and exploded. In the midst of the chaos, the captain of the mercenaries stopped to catch a breath. _Maybe I can gather the Salamander Group and catch him with a Chakra Chain attack with all of us together. _The captain thought, but he knew it was fruitless when it was halfway done in his head. By the time his thought ended, he felt the man behind him, who slowly drew the Hayabusa blade.

"What a mess you're making…we wouldn't want the whole damn castle to be destroyed just because of your nonsensical thrashing, now would we?" Haze said, pulling the knife towards him. It cut into the captain's throat.

Yes, the voice was spot-on all right. A deadly rumble like a monster about to pounce and kill. The captain steadied his voice and knew his life was on the line, and depended on the whether the words he chose pleased this godly man or not. Maybe it was the influence of that orange-veined chakra, or His whole aura, or His existing doubts about their employer, but the man confessed right then.

"Orochimaru is in the deepest part of the basement. There are giant summoning snakes in the tunnel between the entrance and his chamber, all with a fatal venom in them. Take the entrance by the weapons armory…you'll find him." The captain murmured, all with trickles of blood running down the front of his neck.

Haze Yamagashi released His sword from the mercenary captain's neck, but kept a hand gripped on his shoulder. "Just a bunch of snakes in my way, eh? Doesn't matter. They're just the same as the snake at the end of the tunnel."

The captain tensed. "The snake, at the end of the…tunnel?"

"I'm done with you. _Ryu-rasengan._"

The Hayabusa blade floated in space while its master charged blue-and-orange chakra inside His hand, and whirled it into the mercenary's bank. His hand was still but the energy spun as a hurricane would spin, ripping muscle and snapping bone to bits till there was only a thin mess of reddish cords around Haze's hand, and a mess of red everywhere else. Finally, the screams and clattering from all the other castle guards had quieted.

Haze stood up and looked out beyond the castle wall. His eyes hung lazily on the horizon were the sun would soon rise. "Huh…sunrise already…" He said, and paused. Hayabusa fell into his hand and he sheathed it inside the plain scabbard. There was a moment of no sound, and heavy air, while the massive chakra within Him stilled and waited for the sunrise as well. It was a tradition and secret of dragons, the appreciation of the sunrise. He had fond memories of it in a slightly earlier youth. Haze was the last one alive, the last one to be able to keep this beyond-ancient tradition going. It would only ever be him with this privilege.

"Admiring the sunrise, Dragonknight?"

_Making an appearance early, I see…typical…_ "What of it, you damn snake?" Haze turned slowly around and saw the white snake himself appear from around the side of a ruined and blackened tower. He had on a maroon-colored yukata that made him seem as though he'd been about ready to head to sleep. It could only mean that he had a hundred murderous tricks inside it.

The transvestite-snake huffed and inclined his head. "I'm just worried that soon there'll be nobody left in the big, wide world to keep up that adorable custom. You'll be eradicated from this world soon enough, Son of Yamagashi. It's no secret. The curse on your arm will drag you down soon enough."

So he knew of the mark on His back after all. Then again, Orochimaru never knew as much as he pretended he did. "That mark is no curse, Orochimaru."

"I know the mark of black dragon fangs when I see it. It's ancient and unknown, but I do my studies."

"You know_ nothing_ of dragons."

"I do so." He laughed, and just the nasty sound of it got Haze's chakra rising in slight anger. "And I know legends told of you. You might as well _be_ one, they gifted you with everything their kind had to offer before they died four hundred years ago, the last of those things being knighthood, the ability to kill their own kind. A status granted to only half a dozen men in all history. They must have loved you so."

The man sure knew how to talk up a storm. It made capturing and interrogating that crazy rapping jinchuuriki from Cloud seem like a dream compared to listening to this arrogant fool. "It doesn't matter. What does matter is that this is your last day on earth. Say goodbye to the sunrise, snake, you'll never see another one."

"Heh-heh-hehh…" Orochimaru laughed. He was grinning ear to ear. "Why's that, knight? Is it because the long night that's coming to the ninja world? 'The snake turns to dust in the sun in the light of dragon wings'? The bit that comes before the great calamity?"

"Something like that."

"_You won't win,_" he said in a deep, frighteningly prophetic voice. "It matters not if I 'turn to dust in the sun,' Haze Yamagashi. I'll be born again out of a new skin as I always am. But you…you'll perish in the dark. Don't forget that part of the prophecy. A mighty dragon's death…and a butterfly with its wings severed drops to the ground? Sounds spooky. I hear your latest lover is quite like a lavender butterfly…"

In a second, Haze was gone from His place at the top of the stair and appeared again an inch from Orochimaru's deathly-pale face. The Hayabusa was drawn again, and the chakra flowed freely, visible again, creating storms of dark black and vicious orange-colored energy. Another tower fell. Over the clattering of stones Haze yelled, "Say one word about her and I'll rip your fucking throat out and feed your body to your own snakes."

"Ohhooo, protective of your woman, are you? That's very cute. Especially since she must be the hundredth or so in and out of your bed. Maybe the Kazekage's sister is up nex—xxxttkkh," Orochimaru was choking. Haze's left hand was on his throat and constricting it to nothing, while its owner looked on with emotionless eyes.

Haze said, "You're done talking about 'my woman', snake. You just dropped every ounce of your dignity to make that one remark. Now it'll be the end of you, you piece of total shit."

Orochimaru's throat was just as thick as a pencil, yet he still spoke. He tongue slipped out and he hissed just like the snake that he was. Haze, like any natural dragon, which he was, nearly wretched at the sight. "My end isn't here quite yet, Son of Yamagashi." And in a heartbeat he disintegrated. He turned to grayish bits of skin in Haze's very hands. The Dragonknight unsheathed his Dragonknife yet again.

"I didn't earn this blade to use it on the likes of you, Orochimaru! Come out!" He yelled. It was time for a final battle with this gross man. He unleashed all of His chakra in one burst. The orange-veined waves of black that had tortured the mercenary men minutes before exploded into life. Haze knew Orochimaru was watching from somewhere.

It had been too many years of hunting this man. He would die now and here, by a knight's hand.

He would learn just what a real dragon was.

_The black chakra set the air aflame_.

Haze grabbed onto His self-control for dear life. If He lost it now, after all these years, there would be no turning back. The great calamity that was coming to the ninja world hadn't even reared its ugly head yet, He had much time to go before he could truly rest. For now, there was a monstrous red beast in His head and it took every ounce of godly control not to give into it. Thank the gods for draconic mind-training.

"_OROCHIMARRUUUUUU!" _screamed Haze, and he felt, easy as a breez, Orochimaru's fear and recognition of the voice. Haze carried the voice of Shen, His own dragon sage tutor. His cells ran freely in Haze's body and had waited a decade for this moment.

"_I'm coming to kill you, you piece o' shit snake, are you ready?! ARE YOU READY?! YOU CAN'T HIDE! __**SHARRINNEGAN**__!" _

Through the fire and the flames as black as the furious Amaterasu technique, a plethora of giant snakes was fleeing through a broken-down castle wall. Haze knew instantly that Orochimaru was tucked inside.

His wings burst their casing and Shen was raging like the Juubi itself. Heh, Orochimaru would die never knowing the secret of the original Juubi that Haze carried. Just as he deserved.

He ran forward, trailing black hellfire behind him. There was no stopping it, and all other noises were covered by the screaming, rushing flames and the remaining infrastructure of the castle burning and collapsing into nothing. The snakes cried out in fear. They could not move fast enough to evade him, it was not possible. There was no creature faster than the Dragonknight.

"_I said you can't hide you piece of crap! Are you running from me or the calamity?! 'Cuz you can't do either one? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE CALAMITY WILL BE? __**HERE'S A HINT, IT'S ME!**_**" **

READ AND REVIEW!

The following chapter will be going back to Konoha to see how the citizens and shinobi there are taking the news of the upcoming calamity, which is becoming public knowledge now. As you remember, the Kazekage is already on board with Haze's proposed defense plan, but the Hokage will need some convincing. There won't be much time anyway before disaster strikes!

READ AND REVIEW!

* * *

><p><em>(AN: Storm Says awmygod that was so fun. Once I started saying to myself "Son of Yamagashi" I couldn't stop the stupidity from flowing! I am less impressed with the last third of it or so, I felt I was really milking the pretentiousness in those sections. I have only one chapter left to post that was written from the original MarySewage that was written-and-then-taken-down in 2009 (Emiko the popstar and Airi of the Moon were also from that original posting). So after that I have no more "backup" chapters.<br>_

_UNRELATED ANNOUNCEMENT: There's a high chance I may be changing my penname for the first time in eight years. If you suddenly can't find StormDragon666, it's because I've made the official transformation into StormingDragon. You have been warned. _

_OTHER UNRELATED ANNOUNCEMENT: As of Halloween 2013, I am planning a couple updates and have been for about two months. Only one of them is a Naruto story, don't get too happy just yet. I'm thinking I will update Seven next. Probably my RotG story, too, and a Hetalia story which you may read about on my profile. Those updates and this one were supposed to come in one big bash TODAY, but this is all that got done. I'm sorry. I AM sorry! As it turns out, I had endless free time in high school because I almost never had to study but shit I can't DO that in college and expect to do well. Add this to my job at my air force base and my clingy family and geez, when I can shake all that loose I just want to play Pokemon and surf Tumblr and not have to do anything or talk to anybody. Fortunately, I also suffer occasional writer's guilt, from which 80% of this chapter sprang. _

_TL;DR writing is hard, life is annoying, I miss high school when things were easy ((dear high schoolers JUST WAIT TILL COLLEGE. JUST WAIT.)) and I'm probably turning into StormingDragon soon.)_


	9. Sayuki Haruno, Tsuya Hyuuga, Aiko Noriya

_(AN: Storm Says: A good ol' reviewer and friend of mine said that last chapter wasn't quite as awesome previous ones, and you know what, I agreed. While I was trying to mimic a Gary Stu who is so knowledgeable and chill about his own awesomeness and Naruto knowledge, it seems it IS more fun to snigger and hiss at the female OCs who do this with less class, more boobs and more flamboyant surety. Do not misunderstand. Do not take this as a lesson for girls to learn how to hate on other girls. We have too much of that. Take this, and all other chapters, as a lesson on telling stupid girls they are stupid and need to fix their shit. _

_This chapter was not written recently, it's a saved one from the first time MarySewage was posted (and taken down) in 2009. It's my last backup/stored chapter, and because my friend told me the last chapter was a little lacking, and I already sort of agreed, here's another to even out the playing field a little! This still ain't no Emiko Ebony Ravenway Kami, but a new element will be introduced here: we haven't played with nonsensical age gaps yet, have we?)_

* * *

><p>Ya, so me and two friends of mine, BloodFlute, Tsuyoi-Hikari1,and me (I'm Icy-chan99!) are writing a fanfic about our OCs. We posted their pics and bios to DA last month and its about time we right a fic about it amiright!<p>

I'm gonna write it most of the time because I have more time than Flute and Hikari, except on weekends it's practically the opposite. The 1st part of the fic we'll be writing the profiles in case you haven't gone to DA to see the pictures yet, you can get to know our characters, yadda yadda. It also shows the pairings (if you don't like the pairing THEN DON'T FUCKING READ THE FIC!)

Also remember the main Naruto characters like Sasuke and Hinata and them are about 21 years old at this time. Kakashi and the senseis would be about 35. Tsunade has probably turned into dirt by now haha.

* * *

><p>Sayuki Haruno, age 13<p>

**(COPYRIGHT, property of "Icy-chan99" Clara Smith, 2013)**

Team and sensei: 6 and Gendo-sensei

Appearance: has the same body shape as Sakura when she was Sayuki's age but a little taller and thinner, a good athletic build. Sayuki's hair is ash-blonde but for her bangs which are dyed black. It extends halfway down her back, the tips are highlighted a rosy red. Her eyes are dark blue like a stormy ocean and she wears a fishnet shirt with a navy coat over it and blue normal ninja pants.

Personality: Sayuki is Sakura's younger sister and since her sister died of sickness she hopes to be as awesome as her one day in her memory. Sayuki is very fun-loving around her friends but is usually polite and serious in public. She cares about her friends and family more than anything, and will beat someone up if they diss her friends too much. One of the things she hides from everyone is that the last person to insult her friends was a missing-nin and Sayuki found the guy and tortured him to death, she had to get a special pardon from the Hokage and Ibiki to not be exiled for it.

Pairing: SasukexSayuki (age difference of maybe 8 years DEAL WITH IT)

* * *

><p>Tsuya Hyuuga, age 14<p>

**(COPYRIGHT "Tsuyoi-Hikari1" Desiree Gratton, 2013) **

Team and sensei: 6 and Gendo-sensei

Appearance: really tall for her age and skinny, wide hips. Has long, dark brunette hair in high ponytail that is slightly wavy. Wears a fishnet shirt that shows her belly, with a red vest over it and a black skirt (like Sakura has in Shippuden). She has the white Hyuuga eyes.

Personality: Tsuya is a very good user of ninjutsu, close to jounin-level but she thinks she's really bad and wishes to be as good as Neji one day. She's happy and kind to people on the outside but inside is really sad and disappointed in herself, more than her cousin Hinata ever was. Only Aiko and Sayuki know that, though.

Pairing: NarutoxTsuya (like a 8 year age difference, so what? People do SasorixSakura and he's like thirty years older than her and yet no one seems to care!)

* * *

><p>Aiko Noriya, age 13<p>

**(COPYRIGHT "BloodFlute" May Samelin, 2013) **

Team and sensei: 6 and Gendo-sensei

Appearance: sort of muscular but you wouldn't geuss because she wears baggy clothes specifically to hide that, like her favorite long blue sleeveless robe that almost goes to her ankles. Short blonde hair, smooth but spikes outward at the ends a bit, and bright cerulean eyes. She also wears black mascara very often.

Personality: Aiko is the cheerful girl who's always dancing and saying random, weird stuff and glomping people. She only gets serious when she's in battle, and when she's in battle Aiko is crazy and powerful enough to go against a jinchuuriki.

Pairing: NejixAiko

Now here's the prologue. Well maby it's the first chapter, but since it is real short lets just call it the prologue and sweep it under the rug ja?

* * *

><p>..-Sayuki POV-..<p>

I was walking down Konoha streets looking for Aiko. Dammit she said that us, Gendo-sensei and Tsuya were going on a mission today and now I can't find her! She's probably chasing squirrels or molesting people or something. That girl is so weird but shes so much fun and that's why I love her as my friend.

The wind blew up suddenly and my hair blew in the wind. The black part, the front and my bangs, mixed with the blonde part, the back, and I straightened it out before moving on again. I'm pretty sure I was imagining those Chuunin guys looking at me. Ryuu and Ichigo were both about 18 so I wondered if they were too old for me, but there was no denying they were cute. I was hoping they didn't like me because I liked someone else, but that wasn't the case. Sigh. They were totally hot for me. I walked past them anyway and just hoped that I looked pretty casual.

'_Come on, Aiko! Hurry up and glomp me so I don't have to feel those guys burning holes in my head with their eyes! Uggh_!'

Right on cue! I was slammed into the ground and the people around me got really startled. I slapped my pal upside the head and anime tears started flowing down her cheeks dramatically. "Waaaaahh Sayuki-chan you hurt me!" she cried. An anime teardrop appeared by the side of my head. "Well you shouldn't be assaulting girls in public you know, people will think you're lesbian and I think you're a little too young to swing that way yet."

"Too young?" she screamed, getting off of me but still scaring people near us. "I'm older than you! By four whole months! And I'M not the one with a crush on a guy who's like ten years older than me!"

I slapped her again. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I ranted fighting down the blush on my cheeks. Sure, I liked Sasuke Uchiha, who was 21 years old and in the ANBU with his friend the Kyuubi jinchuuriikii Naruto Uzumaki, but Aiko didn't have to go spilling it all around town! And he was 8 years older than me, not 10! Yeah, it's a _lot, _but 8 is not 10, either!

Anyway, I could see Tsuya approaching us out of the corner of my eye. "There's my favorite Hyuuga girl!" I said, putting an arm around her and glad to be away from weird Aiko. Tsuya was older than me by almost a year but we treated her like a little sister, giving her comfort and helping her out with little things because we knew she was fragile inside and needed our help. If I can do one thing right before I die, I'd say it'd be to help Tsuya Hyuuga be happy.

"Gendo-sensei told me that we're doing this mission alone." Tsuya said with her usual happy mask. "He says we're good enough for the Chuunin exams next month and this will be our last real practice together before we come home and train by ourselves."

"That rocks, what are we doing?" Aiko said, jumping up and down. Tsuya replied in a hard, cold voice, "There's this guy running around, stealing scrolls and stuff from temples and we need to catch him and kill him."

I nodded. "No prob. Let's get to it."

Suddenly Tsuya screamed and put her hands on the back of her head. She pulled out a dart. Someone had shot that at her. "What's going on!?" she screamed. She turned around and up on the roof of a Konoha shop we saw a man wearing dark clothes and a long, long scarf. It was the guy we were supposed to go after, it had to be!

Tsuya fell onto her knees as the drug went all thru her system. People started screaming and running away from the new, evil shinobi. "It's…It's killing me!" Tears poured from her eyes but I felt a familiar chakra coming towards us.

A second later out of the corner of my dark blue eyes I saw Naruto the blonde ANBU on his knees near my friend. His whisker-marks on his face, a mark of being the Kyuubi vessel, were unmistakable. He was saying, "Tsuya-chan? Tsuya-chan, stay awake! I'll help you!"

I heard him growl dangerously at the scarf-ninja-man but he ran away to the hospital with Tsuya in his arms. Aiko and me were here to deal with this guy. He jumped down off the building and landed about 2- feet away from us and then I noticed that two black wolves were circling him and growling. They were probably his summoning animals. They looked badass.

Aiko ran at the guy with two kunai and both the wolves attacked her. Aiko twirled in the air. She was too fast for the black wolves. One latched its golden teeth in her alabaster skin and she cried out. I was about to go and help her but she kicked the wolf where the sun don't shine and it let her go, limping away and bleeding.

The second wolf lunged quickly and Aiko jammed her other kunai right into its brain. The dark red blood spilled over my blonde friend's face and stained her long, flowing shinobi robe. She grinned and grabbed the wolf's body and threw it up in the air. Once it was almost on the ground again she kicked it right at the scarf-ninja-man. He caught the wolf and tossed it aside.

"You don't even care agout your summoning creatures!" I gasped. My fists were clenching. "And my friend might die because of you! I'll KILL YOU!"

And I was charging at the man before I knew what I was doing. Chakra was surging around me and power ran through my body, it was the seven-tailed puma all over again. I was gonna maim that guy.

But then the strange ninja pulled away his scarf and his mask…

…and there was my dead sister, Sakura Haruno!

* * *

><p>LE GASP! An okay beginning, I think. It gets even better in the third chapter but second chapter is mostly just info. But u need the info to enjoy the story, so please pay attention or I'll cut yo face off. Nah jk.<p>

Thanks from Icy, Flute and Hikari for reading! Next chapter I promise I'll fit in a quick SasukexSayuki moment! It's not vital to the story yet, but it will be soon, trust me :) Anybody who raises a brow at the age gaps, I'll raise you one Sasori-Sakura fanart and ask why one is okay and the other is not. Plus I'll just keep writing my story regardless, tee-hee. Haters gon' hate! ;D

* * *

><p><em>(AN: Storm Says: really irks me when people write "an anime teardrop" or "they anime-fell" or "he anime sweatdropped". While it FITS, because this is anime, and in anime it can be kind of cute…still, it just…I just…like, do you know how stupidly fourth-wall-breaking that is? What if in a live-action screenplay, Tony Stark suddenly "reality falls" or "reality sweatdrops"? <em>

_Also, this chapter was first posted in 2008…at which time I wrote the author's name as Icy-chan95, not 99. Sob, sob, time flies. I wish I could have added some "pairing moment" simply for, well, idiocy's sake, but I have to go to bed now so I cannot. A full weekend of working awaits me :/ However, for that reason, I may make a "chapter two" of this at some point. A fourteen-year-old author's view of a twenty-one-year-old man's romantic actions would be shining gold indeed for this piece o' crap fic.) _

_Many thanks to Badger, without whom this would not have been posted for two to three more weeks! There's thirty minutes left of Halloween, I'm going to spend it eating pizza bites hurr hurr hurr. Good night!_

_PS If your name remotely resembles that of the 'authors', I apologize, they were meaningless and randomized selections) _


	10. Tara of the Self-insert Clan

(_AN/ STORM SAYS:) I bring you a chapter very much based on the worst Mary Sue story I think I've ever come across. A literal gold mine to read about, I must say. She wasn't a Naruto self-insert Sue but a Hetalia self-insert. With my love for Hetalia compounding my desire to spit blood at the awfulness of this character, I HAD to read the story and was not disappointed. I also left the author a longass review full of concrit on her many mistakes, but she ignored it. My much shorter concrit on DA did get a response of "sorry you think she's a sue" and included a list of flaws that the character does have, including things like "she is naive to some things" and "has asparaguses." _

_Read and gimme aaalllllly your critique for this. I am eager for it.) _

* * *

><p>"Ahh I'm finally done" I had just finished my homework on the history of the far east. All those nights cramming in the information, answering the questions now I can finally relax and what better way to relax than watch my favourite anime series, Naruto. So far I have seen almost the whole series fillers and all and I am way into the Shippuden part now I was rewatching the sad parts like where ITachi pokes his brother's forehead for one last time aftera a long drawn out battle and then died right next to him. Then he comes back in edo tensei a while later and they have a pleasant goodbye.<p>

Any way I look at the completed homework to see I didn't put my name, age and gender on it 'I'm such an idiot' I grab a blue pen and write "Tara-amethyst. Lavender. 16. Female" I grab my work and stuff it in my bag, then turn the TV on to watch the rest of Naruto. Now Gai Sensei and Kakashi were copying each other, shaking their booties and racing across Konoha. They flew over Shikamaru and chouji who had no idea what was going on and then jumped high above Konoha and fought with a ton of cooking utensils.

I started laughing so hard I fell of my couch when I got back up another episode of Naruto came onto TV. It was back to the Itachi and Sasuke fight now and I sighed 'a rerun' but when I see Sasuke talking about all he can see is itachi's end and I start crying "noooo! Why Itachi! Why did you have to lie to your brother like that when you could just tell him the truth! Sasuke wouldn't be so bad and hateful and you wouldn't die." I turn the TV off and go to my room and cry my eyes out in to my pillow 'I wish Naruto was real it's better than the life I have I could make friends with them and maybe, just maybe fall in love.' I sat up on my bed and wiped my face. I dried my brown eyes and noticed that my clothes were soaked in my tears 'oh, just freakin' great! Now I seriously have to wash my clothes because they have tear stains? My parents will never believe that!' I changed out of my small t-shirt and bike shorts and put on a violet colored dress with a white headband over the crown of my head. It was a favorite outfit of mine for spring and summer Then I hear a noise "heeheeeheehehee!" I walk out of my room and follow the weird giggling Maybe my weirdo relatives from Quebec are visiting. I soon found myself in the basement then I heard the giddy British voice said "do you wish Naruto was real? To change the fate of the cursed Uchiha brothers?" I cautiously answered "y-yes, I would like no love for Naruto to be real and yes, I want to change Itachi's fate. Can you help me please I'll do anything!" the giddy voice giggled again and said "okay, then so it shall be. Have fun and make sure to be careful. Ninjas live in a much more brutal world than this one, so it's quite dangerous. Be strong and don't let anyone know that you're from here." "Wait what do you mea-"I didn't get to finish my question because a bright blue light covered my whole body in a flash. I black out like I've been hit hard in the head. When I wake up I'm lying on a grassy area I sit up and look around and see that I'm downhill from a town that looks full of old, wood buildings instead of the regular skyscrapers and metallic apartment complexes I am used to. I stand up only to see I have smaller arms 'the hell!?' I look around and find a puddle I look into the puddle cautiously. I look in the puddle and see an eleven-year-old me complete with my shorter legs and shorter hair from when I was only an elementary school student I squeal and fall backwards 'what the hell is going on!?' I pace back and forth until I realize what happened 'that thing!

That thing sent me here and made me a four younger, it was total magic! 'Im here in this strange place but where the hell is here!?' I plop myself on the ground and start balling my eyes out. "Girl why are you crying?" a Japanese accent asked. I look up to meet a pair of dark black eyes that are a little bit sunken in with age. 'What, that's Sasuke and Uchiha's dad, Fugaku! That thing didn't just make Naruto real it sent me to Naruto I owe that thing big time! But now I gotta think up an explanation.' "I-I-I'm lost. Don't remember anything and I don't know where I am. Can you help me sir?" I stuttered. The Uchiha man closed his eyes and then sighed as he crossed his arms. "Fine, you will work for me at the Uchiha mansion here in town. Yu will meet my boys, Itachi he is a little older than you and he's already an ANBU operative. Sasuke is about two years younger than you and he's in the ninja academy now. You will be one of of the maids cooking and cleaning and in return I will give you shelter and food" He stated he motioned me to follow him hile we are walking I speak. "Tara-amethyst. Lavender." He looked at me "Pardon?" I look at him and say "My name is Tara-amethyst. Lavender."

He stooped to my level "my name is Uchiha Fugaku, you will address me as Fugaku-sama do you understand miss Lavender?" "Yes Fugaku-sama" I nodded and we started walking again. 20 minutes later we arrive at the big compound where the Uhihas live and his little kid Sasuke is eating lunch in the kitchen. I went over to him. "hi, my name is Tara, I'm here to make cleaning easier!" I hugged him and Sauske giggled and returned my hug. We let go of each other and I asked him "I have a question for you first, can I call you Sasu-chan?" he nodded. "great! Ill be seeing you later Sasu-chan, I've got cleaning to do, you have a big house and it probably needs ton of dusting and rearranging, ya know!" 2 months later later I finished everything the other maids had not done, I even organized miss Mikoto's geneology and history scrolls by alphabetical order. Now I decided to go stroll in the flower fields. I gathered white lilies and even some rare blue roses and put them in a bunch till they were neatly arranged as a flower bunch from the Yamanaka shop. The wind blew a calming breeze all around me. I just now realized my shoulder length black hair was now halfway down my back. My hair glided slightly on the wind and whips it to and fro. I hear a twig snap and turn around to see Itachi, the older son "Hello, Itachi. It's nice to meet you" I giggled at him and he smiled in a friendly manner. "H-hello. You must be Tara, father told me about you. I've been on a mission for a pretty long time so I just got home this morning." He said I walked to him "Hey, I think you should ask Sasuke a question. Ask Sasu-chan if he knows his family is planning to rebel." He looked shocked "What? Why would I ask my kid brother that? What are you even talking about?" Thinking quick I told him that his clan was natural powerful and didn't like authority, I often wondered if the Uchihas might try to attack Konoha someday. We talked about the horrors of these shinobi missions and how much suffering it would cause if that really happened but then… "I know that mission is coming very soon. Tara soon I'll have to kill everyone in this family. I need you to take care of Sasuke for me." He said I paled and then said. "no! Yo u can't! I know what will happen." I clasped my hands over my mouth and Itachi looked consumed. "What will happen? What do you mean?" I sighed since he had found me out. I said "I know the Third Hokage really IS worried that your family will rebel against Konoha and he already told you about a mission in which you have to kill everyone in your family. And you really go through with it, a kid who's barely fourteen has to murder his whole family. Everybody is killed and Sasuke is totally ruined as a human being, he hates you with every inch of his being and wants you dead and his whole life is about killing you, he spends his whole life in this endless cycle of hating the world" I look at him to see he is both pale and shocked.

I lean towards him only to lose my balance and fall into his lap. He snaps out of that shocked state of his and asks me "How can you possibly know that? The Lord Third didn't tell anyone of this mission but me. Or do you have a jutsu that can see into the future?" I answer him by saying "Uhh…yes it's a Kekkei Genkai I have, it's not in my own control but sometimes I just get visions of what will happen. It's complicated." He then made me sit beside himThen he said nervously, "Well I don't know why but, I choose to believe you. Hey I never asked, are you a shinobi or just a really knowledgable maid?" I laughed and joked, "Not unless eleven year old kids can be ninja." He looked at me with wide eyes "There is! Anyone who's at least eight can go to the ninja academy and when you graduate you will be a ninja!" I sighed in awe, thinking that I could actually be a ninja, me! I beamed at him, "Thanks for telling me that, I'm so glad I know it now. By the way, refuse the mission and just tell your family that their choice is to keep quiet or else they'll all die, that way your family can all live and Sasuke and you can grow up peacefully." He smiled and helps me stand up and we walk back to the mansion together.

We looked at a big portrait of the whole Uchiha clan together that was in one of the training dojos, it took up most of the wall and had a couple dozen people in it including Itachi and Sasuke. Fugaku came in and saw us looking at it. Itachi looked his father in the eye and said "Father, I need to tell you about my ANBU operations lately. The Lord Third is assigning me a murder mission to kill everyone in this family to make sure you don't rise up against Konoha. If you show so much as a hint that you'll really do that I will have to take out every single one of you. You know I can do it, so if you want the clan to live on, for the love of god, do not rebel, father. Let us all live peacefully." Fugaku-sama looked shocked he nearly fell on the ground, but he agreed to tell his clan members this scary truth, and put down any rebellions in their family council. Itachi thanked me for my advice, now he and his brother were saved and now none of the terrible things that I knew could happen ot these brothers wouldn't happen. We both found Sasuke who had just come home from ninja academy that day and wanted to practice shuriken throwing with his brother. We all went out together and did the practice, having tons of fun. Itachi loved praising his brother for working so really hard and Sasuke just loved to be around him. They were adorable brothers and i was so happy to know they wouldn't be fucked up. We became best friends and I started going to ninja academy, sometimes I saw Sasuke in the halls wit younger kids and waved to him, we were both making very good progress in school. That night I tucked in little Saus-chan and whispered 'sweet dreams Sasu-chan' then I fell asleep. 5 years later. "Well, time to go." I'm about to go on a mission.

In Naruto years I am now 16 once again and a chuunin. I still live with the Uchiha family. Sasuke is giving me a hug trying to be tough and act like he's not bothered that I have to go away for a long time. I hug his brother who is a top jonin right now and hug everyone one last time. 'Don't worry, I will see you all again one day, it's just one year it's not like will all be wrinkled old grandparents by the time I get back so don't worry!" I reassured them and then with my long silver civilian dress, a deep blue cloak and a sack of food and a water canteen I went off on my journey. 1 week later I had reached the border to the land of stone and I wanrde around try looking for a wanted sign because I am out of provisions and also flat broke. After wandering ailessly I bump into someone a nd they shout "Watch where youre going you stupid baka, un!" I apologized as I look up. "Sorry Deidara" "Hey how do you know my name, short baka girl?"He replied. 'crap! Think think, think! God it!' 'I'm from Konoha and I've seen your name in the bingo book tons of times.' He groaned. 'Ahh, stupid Koonha.' I told him my situation and he said "Come, I wil ltak yo u to my danna, Saosir."

I thanked him as we walked and told him who I was and some stuff about myself and in return he stubbornly gave me some info, too. After a little bit we were at where Sasori and Deidara were staying in this Land of Stone town and Sasori opened the door when Deidara knocked and nsays "deidara where did you go this morning? Left to buy some horseshit clay or something?' I stepped him and said "Ecuse me sir, he was with me." Sasori stopped glaring at his partner and looked at me instead and said more calmly, "Ah. Let the young lady in deidara get out of her way." He invited me in. "You may stay as long as you like." I told him I only needed a supply of food to get me to the other side of the country, I was going to the Land of Oaks to build a clinic for needy sick people." Sasori and Deidararu talked to me for hours and hours, we had great conversations and in-jokes. However eventualy I had to get back to my duties I was a shinoib after all. 5 days after that I manage to read the border of the very small but beautiful Land of Oaks, which was very lush and green and naturally famous for beautiful oak trees and gorgeous displays of falling leaves in the fall, it was easily one of the more beautiful and rich nations despite its small size and small military. The locals knew I was coming and greeted me, they had already started construction on the clinic building but I took over once I got there. I used Wood Style jutsu so craft perfect and strong logs for the building support, walls and roof. Some cute contractors and smiths designed nice glass windows and front doors and many of the young ladies were happy to help me decide on the interior decorating. We went with a theme of green and white, my favorite colors and also those of the Land of Oaks flag. One day after that I was seeing patients and helping to deal with the sickness that seemed to go around this land a lot.

14 months later, it seemed my missioin had been extended since in my absence, the Fifth Hokage told me the Land of Oaks depended on me so I was gonna be here a pretty long time but whatever. I was the prime doctor in this town the main sickness was gone from the population and with all the extra health y people we were able to build up the militia of the small towns and the military of the whole land, I was head of th e local militia and Head Town Councilwoman and lived in a house by the clinic that was surrounded by plantlife, I also had built a small shelter in my backyard for local deer to rest in when winter winds got too severe. This was th e life for sure. One small problem, though, a couple times I'd had some bad dreams where a girl my age would look at me and say 'will you be my friend?" she looked a lot like me except her hair was blonde instead of black and she had red eyes not blue she said her name was Kara, or Death.

One morning I woke up after hearing her talk to me some more and I stared at my wall thinking 'what the hell just happened." Time skip to one month later. "Everyone stay on the move! Get on the boats! Women nd children must go first!" I'm yelling orders to save the people to get on boats to the Land of Stone. The Land of Oaks, my nation, is under attack. Firebombs are everywhere and much of the houses and buildings are falling apart while people screamm and run for cover; I have to get everyone on my boat. One boat was left and there was room for just two more people when I hear a faint cry for help.

I run back to the village and under a pile of wood and flaems I can see a grown woman trapped under rubble, her baby is free but is crying and doesn't know what to do so I help them and used all my strength and chakra to push the pile up with the flames licking at me and wood cutting my hands open. The woman crawled out and I put her baby back into her weak arms and guided her to the boats where her husband and parents cuddled her. I cut the ropes on all of the boats so they could float away from all the danger, when everyone was out of reach they noticed I was still on the dock and started crying and screaming out to me but I turned by back on them and ran back into the burning village. When I got there I dropped to my knees at the site of all these dead people and animals and burned trees with everything hurt or in ruins I cried for the first time since I had come to this Naruto world, I cried to the sky letting it know my pain. These were the animals and people I hadcome to know best and they loved me and depended on me. I hear a faint cry and listened to it 'what are there some animals still alive?!' I smiled at that thought and ran towards that noise and it got louder and loder. I kept running even though I am losing energy because of having spent so much chakra moving people around and blocking missiles and bombs with shields. Now I was at the place the noise came from and I wasn't so happy to see what was in front of me.

There were two dead animals on the ground and others looking at the dead ones, two young and barely fledged crane hatchlings and two wolf pups, the cranes were one fully white with just black markings around its eyes, and the other had regular crane coloring with partial black wings and the rest of it being white. The first wolf baby was all black with emerald eyes and the other was plain brown but had a white marking on its forehead in the shape of a crescent moon. They were staring at the dead animals, a fallen crane and a wolf mother, these must be their mothers. I called to them saying "hey, come here, it's going to be okay.' They turned to me and the black boy wolf pup wolf language "how is everything going te be okay, our mother is dead! What will we do?' I kneeled down and touched his head and his sister's head. "Don't worry I will take care of you, I'm a trained shinobi and I've saved many people before, now I will save you. I'll figure out something, I promise." Since I had trained myself to know the tongue of animals, they understood my speech and nodded at me.

2 days after that, I am setting traps for invaders to make sure any stragglers get killed for daring to come in here, when I see my young cranes flying towards me. "Tara! Tara! An intruder is at the gates and he has a big sword!" I stpped what I was doing and grabbed a bow and arrow and a knife that could slice the guts out of that fucker when I found him. 20 inutes later, I have found the intruder, he is wearing all black, trying to hide in the dark of the night but he won't get past me. I yell "halt! Intruder!" I come out from the tree and attack him. I flung his weapon away but he punches me in the jaw, but I am not fazed. I punch him right back and pin him to the ground with my knife at his throat. "What are you doing here?" He froze. "I'm here looking for survivors! I'm an agent from the Land of Stone!" And I froze. "D-Deidara? Is it really you?" I stuttered as I got up and let him stand. He sad "How do you know my name, hunter?" To answer I pulled back the hood of the black hoodie I was wearing, and his one blue eye went wide. "Tara? Oh my god, I can't believe it." I run to him, hugging him and he returns by hugging me back. He looks down at me in my worn out hoodie and my knife, hair tied back like some jungle woman. "Tara, oh God I'm so sorry for punching you out like that, un" he said as he caressed my face. There was some blood there and he grimaced when he saw it. "Don't worry Deidara, I dealt with worse a few days ago when the invasion happened"

Suddenly there was a grown behind both of us and I turned and see Keela (all-white crane) Isis (regular colored crane) Nomura (black boy wolf) and Lunara (brown girl wolf) all approaching us looking aggressively at Deidara. He gasps and gets his explosive clay ready. I stood in front of him to protect him. "Keela! Isis! Nomura! Lunara! Stop! This is a friend of mine, I mistook him for an attacker! He's a friendly shinobi!" They all stopped and ran to me so I could hug them. "Tara, what's happened here in the Land of Oaks? We're trying to figure out what's going on and I didn't even know if you were alive." I sighed and said "I really don't know deidara all I did is take my people to safety they are in refuges shelters in your land now." "Well, come with me. In the capital there's a summit going on tonight about this incident, you should make yourself known there and maybe we'll figure some things out un" I sigh and agree with him, and in minutes we are on one of his famous clay eagles, with Isis and Keela following us in the air and Nomura and Lunara riding on the bird w ith us. 2 hours later we arrive at the capital of te Land of Stone where Deidara lives and we enter the community building. The large mahogany doors open and the first thing I see is Sasuke fighting with Naruto. I look around and see Gaara who is the fifth Kazekage talking with his siblings and with the Mizukage May Terumi. I walk behind Gaara and tapped him on the shoulder he turned around and I see one of the smiles that he reserves just for me "Tara is it really you? You're alive?" And he laughs his small laugh and hugs me. Then Naruto finally sees me and screams "TARAA! YOU'RE OOKKK!" and he runs over and joins the hug and im almost in tears from being so happy to see all my friends again, iis been two years since I saw any of them.

Sasuke pulled me off him so he could have a chance to see me too and I was so happy to see him. "Tara…what happened ot your face? Are you hurt? Fuck, someone get a medic nin for Tara right now." I looked up and noticed the whole big room had fallen silent and I was about to say something when Deidara said "It's my fault…I thought she was one of the invaders to the country so I punched her and tried to take her out. Thankfully she noticed it was me when she had me pinned down and we told each other who we were to avoid an accidentall conflict. "Well I only tracked him down because my birds and pups were frightened of him." Keela, Isis, Nomura and Lunara came rushing in behind me after watching me and all these strangers nervously, and they all sat beside me. I removed my hoodie and looked serious now. "Now let's get right to the point of this summit shall we, I want answers, who attacked my home nation of the Land of Oaks? And for what reason?" I asked everyone in the room. Tsunade stepped forward. "It was me." I asked "why?" She sat down again and crossed her arms. "Your nation is in a strategic economic position for trading with its many seaports. Weak with a tiny military and no defenses, perfect place to set up a new colony and send in some Land of Fire natives to populate it" Keela, Isis, Nomura and Lunara all started growling at her and stalking towards her "'call off your filthy animals!" Tsunade commanded 'filthy?' I thought with a simmerin rage. "How dare you call the only Land of Oak animals left alive flthy? Call off the armies or I will!" I yelled and she seemed taken aback. Sakura was beside her and was in tears but Tsunades face remained stern "Once war is declared, I cant just call it off, your nation is weak and so we invade." "Weak, huh…" I said softly and then slammed my fist onto the table cracking it. "DO I LOOK WEAK TO YOU, BITCH! You want a war, I'll give you a fucking war like the worlds never seen before! Even if I have to take on all your shinobi by myself if I have to!" I yelled everyone looked shocked and I had tears welling in my eyes as I pulled my hand off the cracked table. "T-Tara-chan wht happened to you in that battle? You used to be so peaceful…" I turned to Naruto and said "Naruto, after what I've endured I'm surprised that I'm still alive and still sane." "Fine I will call off my troops it appears you are strong after all, I apologize." Tsunade conceded as she left the room "Thank you, Tsunade-sama" I whispered but someone tapped my shoulder and I saw it was Itachi "Hello, love. It's good to see you alive and well." He smiled I hugged him and he stroked y hair knowing I wanted to cry. "Meeting's over, everyone get the hell out and go home!" Kiba yelled, trying to help me. I couldn't hold it in any more and cried hard into Itachi's shoulder, gripping his cloak as he held my head close to him. I sniffed one last time and pulled back, "thanks Itachi, I really needed that."

"Hey how about some love for the hero of Konoha!" Naruto yelled. I turned around to see Naruto and he looks a little older than the last time we were in konoha together. I hugged him laughing and he picked me up like I weighed noting. "Tara we want to protect you so I request that you join the Shinobi Alliance." I turn my head to see Gaara. I considerd what he was saying usually I am strong enough to protect my nation on my own but this time definitely proved me wrong. Should I remain on my own or join the other shinobi? All my friends were looking at me hoping I would say yes and that's what I decided "Okay I will join the shinobi alliance." "Great!" Naruto said jumping up and down. He and Kiba and Sakura and Temari were cheering and the Uchiha brothes were smiling. 'oh boy, what next!'

To be continued.

* * *

><p><em>(AN: STORM SAYS) In the story I got the inspiration form, there is absolutely no spacing. Every chapter is written with the same capitalization inconsistency and thoughtless nonsense, and every chapter is one Russia-sized paragraph. I chose to not include this in my own writing since I did actually want you to be able to read this thing.<em>

_This took a while to purposefully make these rambling, half-contructed thoughts and drop periods and commans behind me like handfuls of bread crumbs, but I had suuuuch fun with it. "Saosir" is my favorite bit of this chapter; I wrote that sentence in the middle of the sneeze and thought it was too perfect not to keep._

_Also, I'm considering changing my penname to "StormingDragon" after 8+ years of using this one. I tired of always having the slight tinge of embarrassment of carrying around a "666" attachment in my name just because my twelve-year-old self thought it was such cool, intimidating shit when I first came on here. If you are have an opinion on this, there's a poll on my profile you can check out, yo.) _


End file.
